1 00:00:43,964 --> 00:00:45,399 ♪ When she sighs ♪ 2 00:00:45,466 --> 00:00:50,971 ♪ And her baby-blue eyes embrace your face ♪ 3 00:00:51,038 --> 00:00:52,706 ♪ Lies, all lies ♪ 4 00:00:52,773 --> 00:00:57,978 ♪ What the lady wants is your closet space ♪ 5 00:00:58,045 --> 00:01:00,314 ♪ Bachelor ♪ 6 00:01:00,381 --> 00:01:04,151 ♪ In paradise ♪ 7 00:01:04,217 --> 00:01:08,221 ♪ Be careful ♪ 8 00:01:08,288 --> 00:01:11,024 ♪ Bachelor ♪ 9 00:01:11,091 --> 00:01:14,395 ♪ In paradise ♪ 10 00:01:14,462 --> 00:01:18,932 ♪ Beware ♪ 11 00:01:18,999 --> 00:01:20,468 ♪ Lights down low ♪ 12 00:01:20,534 --> 00:01:25,939 ♪ Frankie's records and cocktails on the floor ♪ 13 00:01:26,006 --> 00:01:27,375 ♪ You should know ♪ 14 00:01:27,441 --> 00:01:33,013 ♪ It's the garden of Eden scene once more ♪ 15 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:35,416 ♪ Adam ♪ 16 00:01:35,483 --> 00:01:39,387 ♪ Come on, be smart ♪ 17 00:01:39,453 --> 00:01:43,391 ♪ Just take your fig leaf ♪ 18 00:01:43,457 --> 00:01:46,326 ♪ And depart ♪ 19 00:01:46,394 --> 00:01:51,532 ♪ And leave one bachelor less ♪ 20 00:01:51,599 --> 00:01:57,905 ♪ In paradise ♪ 21 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,582 These days, as you may have noticed, 22 00:02:41,649 --> 00:02:42,950 many a motion picture opens 23 00:02:43,016 --> 00:02:44,718 with a scene which rightly belongs 24 00:02:44,785 --> 00:02:46,720 somewhere in the middle of the story, 25 00:02:48,956 --> 00:02:52,292 but this picture opens where the story begins, 26 00:02:52,359 --> 00:02:54,595 somewhere in the south of France. 27 00:02:57,297 --> 00:02:59,533 Pardonnez-moi, madame. 28 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,169 Chapter seven-- "the French widow." 29 00:03:02,235 --> 00:03:03,937 The mature French woman 30 00:03:04,004 --> 00:03:06,640 has elevated the physical act of kissing 31 00:03:06,707 --> 00:03:07,908 to an artistic level 32 00:03:07,975 --> 00:03:10,878 unattained by any other society. 33 00:03:10,944 --> 00:03:13,714 Kissing an experienced French woman 34 00:03:13,781 --> 00:03:15,449 provides the average male 35 00:03:15,516 --> 00:03:16,517 with a sensation 36 00:03:16,584 --> 00:03:17,951 that compares favorably 37 00:03:18,018 --> 00:03:19,386 with, uh... 38 00:03:19,453 --> 00:03:22,490 With, uh... 39 00:03:31,231 --> 00:03:32,500 Pardon. 40 00:03:34,434 --> 00:03:36,604 Pardonnez-moi, monsieur Niles. 41 00:03:38,506 --> 00:03:41,141 A transatlantic call from your publisher. 42 00:03:41,208 --> 00:03:42,309 Oh. 43 00:03:42,375 --> 00:03:43,811 Pick it up right there. 44 00:03:45,746 --> 00:03:47,681 Hello? Hello, Austin? 45 00:03:47,748 --> 00:03:50,784 I've had you paged all over France. 46 00:03:50,851 --> 00:03:52,786 I've been calling all night, 47 00:03:52,853 --> 00:03:55,623 and all I can get from the operator 48 00:03:55,689 --> 00:03:58,526 is that you're out or your line's engaged, 49 00:03:58,592 --> 00:03:59,993 whatever that is. 50 00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:01,461 It's noon here, 51 00:04:01,529 --> 00:04:04,064 and I haven't had breakfast yet. 52 00:04:04,131 --> 00:04:06,033 Dear lad, how are you? 53 00:04:06,099 --> 00:04:07,334 Hard at work. 54 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:08,936 I'm up to chapter seven 55 00:04:09,002 --> 00:04:11,338 on how the French live. 56 00:04:11,404 --> 00:04:12,840 How's it coming? 57 00:04:12,906 --> 00:04:14,908 Fine. I'm two weeks ahead in research, 58 00:04:14,975 --> 00:04:16,810 four months behind in writing. 59 00:04:16,877 --> 00:04:20,948 I'm afraid you'll have to fly back, Adam. 60 00:04:21,014 --> 00:04:22,616 What? Why? 61 00:04:22,683 --> 00:04:25,418 Because of the demands of the United States government-- 62 00:04:25,485 --> 00:04:27,855 a very large domestic organization. 63 00:04:27,921 --> 00:04:30,157 I used to get my mail from them. 64 00:04:30,223 --> 00:04:31,491 Is anything wrong? 65 00:04:31,559 --> 00:04:34,862 Wrong? You're in serious difficulties, Adam, 66 00:04:34,928 --> 00:04:36,864 to be euphemistic about it. 67 00:04:36,930 --> 00:04:39,867 I'll see you in Washington tomorrow afternoon. 68 00:04:39,933 --> 00:04:42,035 In the middle of a book? 69 00:04:42,102 --> 00:04:45,606 You're in the middle of a tornado, Adam. 70 00:04:45,673 --> 00:04:48,609 Now, climb on that next jet out of Paris, 71 00:04:48,676 --> 00:04:52,045 and don't speak to a soul--no publicity. 72 00:04:52,112 --> 00:04:53,781 Yes, but, Austin, it's not that-- 73 00:04:53,847 --> 00:04:55,949 in fact, if anybody asks, 74 00:04:56,016 --> 00:04:58,552 deny that you're a.J. Niles. 75 00:04:58,619 --> 00:05:01,822 Use an alias-- your mother's maiden name. 76 00:05:01,889 --> 00:05:04,758 Or was Niles your mother's maiden name? 77 00:05:04,825 --> 00:05:06,493 Your innuendo is offensive. 78 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:07,861 What innuendo? 79 00:05:07,928 --> 00:05:11,031 Uncle Sam has been calling you one for days. 80 00:05:55,208 --> 00:05:58,445 $628,470? 81 00:05:58,511 --> 00:06:00,380 According to our present calculations. 82 00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:01,949 It may be more. 83 00:06:02,015 --> 00:06:04,652 But I didn't earn that much. 84 00:06:04,718 --> 00:06:07,554 Even the government can't take over 100%. 85 00:06:07,621 --> 00:06:08,622 They subpoenaed me. 86 00:06:08,689 --> 00:06:09,699 I had to give them the figures. 87 00:06:09,723 --> 00:06:10,824 Mr. Niles, 88 00:06:10,891 --> 00:06:13,526 you've been overseas for 14 years. 89 00:06:13,593 --> 00:06:15,863 You wrote a dozen books which grossed 90 00:06:15,929 --> 00:06:21,969 a total of $1,214,704.63. 91 00:06:22,035 --> 00:06:23,503 But what about my expenses? 92 00:06:23,570 --> 00:06:25,372 We have no record of any. 93 00:06:25,438 --> 00:06:27,775 I sent them to my business manager. 94 00:06:27,841 --> 00:06:30,844 I explained that, Adam. 95 00:06:30,911 --> 00:06:32,445 You're responsible for the actions 96 00:06:32,512 --> 00:06:35,716 of your business manager, Mr. Niles. 97 00:06:35,783 --> 00:06:37,484 Any idea where he ran off to? 98 00:06:37,550 --> 00:06:40,287 Vanished like smoke. 99 00:06:40,353 --> 00:06:41,789 I can't believe 100 00:06:41,855 --> 00:06:43,490 Herman Wappinger is dishonest. 101 00:06:43,556 --> 00:06:46,426 That man wears piping on his vest. 102 00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:48,696 In all the years that Mr. Wappinger 103 00:06:48,762 --> 00:06:50,964 has handled your affairs, 104 00:06:51,031 --> 00:06:54,101 he never once filed your income tax return. 105 00:06:54,167 --> 00:06:56,036 Now, we're sympathetic, Mr. Niles, 106 00:06:56,103 --> 00:06:58,972 but this is a clear case of fraud. 107 00:06:59,039 --> 00:07:01,141 My life's earnings down the drain, 108 00:07:01,208 --> 00:07:03,877 just because I was stupid enough 109 00:07:03,944 --> 00:07:06,980 to give Herman Wappinger my power of attorney. 110 00:07:07,047 --> 00:07:09,783 I'm not only a criminal-- I'm a pauper. 111 00:07:09,850 --> 00:07:11,752 You haven't a dime, Adam. 112 00:07:11,819 --> 00:07:13,453 The department has attached 113 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:14,955 all your royalties. 114 00:07:15,022 --> 00:07:18,025 We had to, Mr. Niles. That's the law. 115 00:07:18,091 --> 00:07:20,894 I know that law. It's called "instant poverty." 116 00:07:20,961 --> 00:07:24,297 Put me in jail-- at least I can eat. 117 00:07:24,364 --> 00:07:26,033 That won't be necessary. 118 00:07:26,099 --> 00:07:28,668 Mr. palfrey posted your surety bond. 119 00:07:28,736 --> 00:07:29,970 Oh, thanks, Austin. 120 00:07:30,037 --> 00:07:32,172 Then I'm free to leave? 121 00:07:32,239 --> 00:07:35,675 Free to leave this office, but not this country. 122 00:07:35,743 --> 00:07:37,277 Thanks... 123 00:07:37,344 --> 00:07:38,746 A million... 124 00:07:38,812 --> 00:07:40,247 214 thousand... 125 00:07:40,313 --> 00:07:42,249 704 dollars... 126 00:07:42,315 --> 00:07:44,217 And 63 cents. 127 00:07:44,284 --> 00:07:45,685 Shoo! 128 00:07:50,623 --> 00:07:52,125 I'm an American citizen. 129 00:07:52,192 --> 00:07:54,327 They can't force me to stay in this country. 130 00:07:54,394 --> 00:07:55,929 Yes, they can, dear boy. 131 00:07:55,996 --> 00:07:59,199 Until you pay back those $624,000, 132 00:07:59,266 --> 00:08:00,968 or until Herman Wappinger's conscience 133 00:08:01,034 --> 00:08:02,870 forces him to materialize. 134 00:08:02,936 --> 00:08:04,805 Herman's probably on a yacht 135 00:08:04,872 --> 00:08:07,540 with four beautiful gals. 136 00:08:07,607 --> 00:08:09,509 I hope he's taking notes. 137 00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:10,844 Meanwhile, what do I do? 138 00:08:10,911 --> 00:08:13,280 You could go to work. 139 00:08:13,346 --> 00:08:15,382 I could go back to the sports desk-- 140 00:08:15,448 --> 00:08:18,518 $62.50 a week and passes for the dog show. 141 00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:22,856 No. I have an idea-- your next book. 142 00:08:22,923 --> 00:08:24,024 I haven't finished 143 00:08:24,091 --> 00:08:25,392 researching my last one. 144 00:08:25,458 --> 00:08:28,461 Then you can start researching your next one-- 145 00:08:28,528 --> 00:08:30,297 how the Americans live. 146 00:08:30,363 --> 00:08:32,632 You're joking. 147 00:08:32,699 --> 00:08:34,401 A Niles'-eye view of America 148 00:08:34,467 --> 00:08:36,636 might be sensational. 149 00:08:36,703 --> 00:08:40,573 If it's like your others, 150 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,876 half of all Americans will buy it 151 00:08:42,943 --> 00:08:45,112 just to see what they've missed. 152 00:08:45,178 --> 00:08:46,379 The other half will buy it 153 00:08:46,446 --> 00:08:47,647 to see what you've missed. 154 00:08:47,714 --> 00:08:49,516 You've got to, Adam! 155 00:08:49,582 --> 00:08:51,151 But how? How am I going to live? 156 00:08:51,218 --> 00:08:55,388 I'll subsidize you-- your rent and... 157 00:08:55,455 --> 00:08:57,290 $75 a week. 158 00:08:57,357 --> 00:08:59,326 $75? 159 00:08:59,392 --> 00:09:00,327 Don't go over budget 160 00:09:00,393 --> 00:09:01,829 just to save a life. 161 00:09:01,895 --> 00:09:05,532 85--no more. Eat oatmeal instead of caviar. 162 00:09:05,598 --> 00:09:07,067 It tastes terrible with champagne. 163 00:09:07,134 --> 00:09:08,368 I'll need a secretary. 164 00:09:08,435 --> 00:09:09,970 One ugly secretary. 165 00:09:10,037 --> 00:09:12,005 One that can type, huh? 166 00:09:12,072 --> 00:09:16,709 One more thing-- this is America. 167 00:09:16,776 --> 00:09:18,245 Our attitude towards our women 168 00:09:18,311 --> 00:09:19,079 is different. 169 00:09:19,146 --> 00:09:20,613 Sex hasn't gone out, has it? 170 00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:21,915 No. 171 00:09:21,982 --> 00:09:23,526 I'd heard it'd been replaced by television. 172 00:09:23,550 --> 00:09:27,955 While you're here, no experiments with women. 173 00:09:28,021 --> 00:09:29,890 How can I research? 174 00:09:29,957 --> 00:09:31,925 Strictly by observation, dear boy. 175 00:09:31,992 --> 00:09:34,761 If you get involved, no more allowance. 176 00:09:34,828 --> 00:09:35,762 I'm in trouble enough. 177 00:09:35,829 --> 00:09:38,198 I'll stay in bucks county. 178 00:09:38,265 --> 00:09:39,632 Not typical. 179 00:09:39,699 --> 00:09:41,101 Nowadays, the average American 180 00:09:41,168 --> 00:09:44,337 lives in a planned community-- a housing development. 181 00:09:44,404 --> 00:09:45,472 Those tract things 182 00:09:45,538 --> 00:09:48,308 where they replace old slums with new slums? 183 00:09:48,375 --> 00:09:50,177 Oh, they're more appealing than that. 184 00:09:50,243 --> 00:09:53,380 Take, for example, paradise village. 185 00:09:53,446 --> 00:09:55,082 Paradise village? 186 00:09:55,148 --> 00:09:56,016 Yecch! 187 00:09:56,083 --> 00:09:57,417 Sounds revolting. 188 00:09:57,484 --> 00:09:59,953 It's a modern community in the San Fernando valley. 189 00:10:00,020 --> 00:10:02,856 Who lives there-- Horses? 190 00:10:02,923 --> 00:10:04,057 Fortunes have been made 191 00:10:04,124 --> 00:10:06,526 in such communities as paradise village. 192 00:10:06,593 --> 00:10:08,328 I've invested a little myself. 193 00:10:08,395 --> 00:10:11,031 And with the population growth in California, 194 00:10:11,098 --> 00:10:14,067 it forms a cross-section of the entire country. 195 00:10:14,134 --> 00:10:18,205 I've arranged for a house for you there. 196 00:10:18,271 --> 00:10:20,340 And you expect me to live there? 197 00:10:20,407 --> 00:10:21,774 Mm-hmm. 198 00:10:21,841 --> 00:10:24,411 Well, I better get my distemper shots. 199 00:11:08,655 --> 00:11:10,290 You better wait for me. 200 00:11:27,307 --> 00:11:29,042 My name is Adams. Jack Adams. 201 00:11:29,109 --> 00:11:30,577 We've been expecting you. 202 00:11:30,643 --> 00:11:33,680 My cab driver didn't know how to get to paradise. 203 00:11:33,746 --> 00:11:34,847 He's an atheist. 204 00:11:34,914 --> 00:11:38,551 Ha ha! Come right this way. 205 00:11:39,586 --> 00:11:40,586 Uh... 206 00:11:40,620 --> 00:11:41,688 Mr. Adams is here. 207 00:11:44,057 --> 00:11:45,592 How do you do, Mr. Adams? 208 00:11:46,994 --> 00:11:48,395 I'm Rosemary Howard. 209 00:11:48,461 --> 00:11:50,930 You are? Well, what a pleasant surprise. 210 00:11:50,998 --> 00:11:53,033 Oh? What were you expecting? 211 00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:55,102 Well, frankly, nothing. 212 00:11:55,168 --> 00:11:56,970 Your house is ready for you. 213 00:11:57,037 --> 00:11:58,371 Won't you sit down? 214 00:12:01,908 --> 00:12:03,710 Mr. palfrey said you weren't sure 215 00:12:03,776 --> 00:12:05,045 how long you'd stay, 216 00:12:05,112 --> 00:12:08,748 so it's a month- to-month lease, all right? 217 00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:09,815 That'll be fine. 218 00:12:09,849 --> 00:12:12,285 It's a standard form. 219 00:12:12,352 --> 00:12:14,921 Don't you want to see the house first? 220 00:12:14,988 --> 00:12:16,623 It'll be adequate. 221 00:12:16,689 --> 00:12:17,991 You're sure? 222 00:12:18,058 --> 00:12:19,892 It's the only one, isn't it? 223 00:12:19,959 --> 00:12:22,695 Yes. We don't usually rent in paradise, 224 00:12:22,762 --> 00:12:25,598 but we hope you'll decide to buy here. 225 00:12:27,067 --> 00:12:29,436 If you're selling, I'll buy. 226 00:12:29,502 --> 00:12:32,905 A rental car will arrive tomorrow, 227 00:12:32,972 --> 00:12:33,972 but I'll take you over now 228 00:12:34,007 --> 00:12:35,008 if you like. 229 00:12:35,075 --> 00:12:36,143 I'd love. 230 00:12:36,209 --> 00:12:38,411 Let me pay the cab and get my bags. 231 00:12:39,979 --> 00:12:41,381 Ahh! 232 00:12:41,448 --> 00:12:45,452 Our Mr. Adams has arrived! Welcome to paradise, Adams! 233 00:12:45,518 --> 00:12:48,255 Mr. Adams, this is Mr. Jynson-- 234 00:12:48,321 --> 00:12:50,490 developer and president of the tract. 235 00:12:50,557 --> 00:12:51,624 Oh. 236 00:12:51,691 --> 00:12:54,461 Well, you're a friend of Austin palfrey's, huh? 237 00:12:54,527 --> 00:12:56,829 It's a pleasure to have you aboard. 238 00:12:56,896 --> 00:13:00,033 You will find this truly is paradise. 239 00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,469 Schools, churches, country club, 240 00:13:02,535 --> 00:13:05,438 playground, pool, shopping center. 241 00:13:05,505 --> 00:13:06,505 As we say, 242 00:13:06,539 --> 00:13:09,676 a family can live a full and happy life 243 00:13:09,742 --> 00:13:10,677 in paradise 244 00:13:10,743 --> 00:13:12,879 and never leave the village. 245 00:13:12,945 --> 00:13:14,681 They're allowed to, aren't they? 246 00:13:14,747 --> 00:13:15,948 Oh, of course. 247 00:13:16,015 --> 00:13:17,584 You and your family-- 248 00:13:17,650 --> 00:13:19,452 I don't have a family. 249 00:13:19,519 --> 00:13:20,853 No family? 250 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:23,223 Mr. Adams is a bachelor? 251 00:13:23,290 --> 00:13:25,392 Well, don't worry. It's not catching. 252 00:13:25,458 --> 00:13:27,927 I know, but a bachelor in paradise-- 253 00:13:27,994 --> 00:13:30,363 you'll be the only one. 254 00:13:30,430 --> 00:13:32,065 That sounds like fun. 255 00:13:34,267 --> 00:13:35,602 I better pay my cab driver. 256 00:13:35,668 --> 00:13:37,637 I'd hate to put him in a higher bracket. 257 00:13:41,274 --> 00:13:42,775 Rosemary. 258 00:13:42,842 --> 00:13:44,277 Ginny. 259 00:13:44,344 --> 00:13:46,513 Does your mother know you're reading this trash? 260 00:13:46,579 --> 00:13:47,780 I'm 18. 261 00:13:47,847 --> 00:13:49,949 Rosemary, may I see you? 262 00:13:50,016 --> 00:13:52,452 Would you show Mr. Adams to my car, please? 263 00:13:57,657 --> 00:13:58,691 Crazy. 264 00:13:59,759 --> 00:14:01,361 A Latin student, huh? 265 00:14:04,497 --> 00:14:07,066 I'm not sure this is good. 266 00:14:07,134 --> 00:14:08,335 He's a bachelor, 267 00:14:08,401 --> 00:14:10,303 and it's a family community. 268 00:14:10,370 --> 00:14:12,172 I'm a bachelor, too. 269 00:14:12,239 --> 00:14:14,141 You're a woman. That's different. 270 00:14:14,207 --> 00:14:16,109 Why? I understand it takes 271 00:14:16,176 --> 00:14:18,077 a member of each sex. 272 00:14:18,145 --> 00:14:19,579 You're a special case. 273 00:14:19,646 --> 00:14:21,514 You're steering away from men-- 274 00:14:21,581 --> 00:14:24,484 and I wish you'd get over that, Rosemary. 275 00:14:24,551 --> 00:14:26,419 We were discussing Mr. Adams. 276 00:14:26,486 --> 00:14:28,955 When it comes to personal matters, 277 00:14:29,021 --> 00:14:31,224 I suggest you concern yourself more 278 00:14:31,291 --> 00:14:33,493 with your own domestic problems. 279 00:14:35,228 --> 00:14:37,096 I didn't appreciate that remark. 280 00:14:37,164 --> 00:14:39,332 Sorry, but if you weren't suspicious 281 00:14:39,399 --> 00:14:42,969 of every Tom, dick, and Harry, you and Dolores-- 282 00:14:43,035 --> 00:14:44,271 never mind Dolores. 283 00:14:44,337 --> 00:14:47,340 Whose house did you get for Adams, huh? 284 00:14:47,407 --> 00:14:48,208 Mine. 285 00:14:48,275 --> 00:14:49,442 You rented him your house? 286 00:14:49,509 --> 00:14:52,212 Mm-hmm. I moved in with old Mrs. Curtis. 287 00:14:52,279 --> 00:14:54,514 She needed someone to care for her, anyway. 288 00:14:56,516 --> 00:14:58,651 Why don't you think of yourself 289 00:14:58,718 --> 00:14:59,719 for a change? 290 00:14:59,786 --> 00:15:00,587 A girl like you 291 00:15:00,653 --> 00:15:03,556 could have anything if she'd... 292 00:15:03,623 --> 00:15:06,526 If she'd be sweet, charming... 293 00:15:06,593 --> 00:15:08,161 Or just obliging to a man? 294 00:15:08,228 --> 00:15:10,830 Just because of one unhappy experience-- 295 00:15:10,897 --> 00:15:13,099 that's all I needed. 296 00:15:13,166 --> 00:15:15,101 I'm on my own, Tom, 297 00:15:15,168 --> 00:15:16,869 and I intend to stay that way. 298 00:15:16,936 --> 00:15:19,539 Excuse me. Mr. Adams is waiting. 299 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:34,487 You're much more attractive 300 00:15:34,554 --> 00:15:36,423 than my last cab driver, Mrs. Howard. 301 00:15:36,489 --> 00:15:38,891 Thank you, but it's miss Howard. 302 00:15:38,958 --> 00:15:40,293 Miss? 303 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:43,496 Don't they harvest the crops around here? 304 00:15:43,563 --> 00:15:44,831 Well, you're a bachelor. 305 00:15:44,897 --> 00:15:47,634 But that's intentional. I mean, anytime-- 306 00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:49,202 oh, I know, 307 00:15:49,269 --> 00:15:50,737 but you may be more amazed to learn 308 00:15:50,803 --> 00:15:53,640 that some women remain single intentionally. 309 00:15:54,574 --> 00:15:57,677 I think we'll hit it off. 310 00:15:59,779 --> 00:16:01,381 When I left, if a man wanted a house, 311 00:16:01,448 --> 00:16:03,182 he built one-- That was that. 312 00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:06,118 You must have been away a long time. 313 00:16:06,185 --> 00:16:07,620 What's all that up there? 314 00:16:08,455 --> 00:16:10,189 That's paradise hills, 315 00:16:10,257 --> 00:16:12,225 Mr. Jynson's new development, 316 00:16:12,292 --> 00:16:14,661 but he had to stop work on it awhile. 317 00:16:14,727 --> 00:16:16,563 The minute I met him, I thought, 318 00:16:16,629 --> 00:16:19,332 "here's a man with an arrested development." 319 00:16:19,399 --> 00:16:20,500 Mr. Jynson is 320 00:16:20,567 --> 00:16:22,269 a very intelligent businessman. 321 00:16:22,335 --> 00:16:24,604 What's holding up paradise hills? 322 00:16:25,438 --> 00:16:27,106 It's a personal matter, 323 00:16:27,173 --> 00:16:28,408 but only temporary. 324 00:16:28,475 --> 00:16:30,377 Will you do your work 325 00:16:30,443 --> 00:16:32,579 in the valley or downtown? 326 00:16:32,645 --> 00:16:34,080 At home. 327 00:16:34,146 --> 00:16:36,383 I'll need a secretary for typing. 328 00:16:36,449 --> 00:16:39,018 Is there anybody in the neighborhood? 329 00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:40,387 Oh, I'm afraid not. 330 00:16:40,453 --> 00:16:42,188 I'll inquire around, 331 00:16:42,255 --> 00:16:43,290 but most women in paradise 332 00:16:43,356 --> 00:16:45,558 have husbands and children. 333 00:16:45,625 --> 00:16:47,727 A lot of families get started that way. 334 00:17:15,187 --> 00:17:17,123 It would be pink. 335 00:17:17,189 --> 00:17:18,425 That's not pink. 336 00:17:18,491 --> 00:17:20,126 That's California coral. 337 00:17:20,192 --> 00:17:21,661 Who thinks up all the names 338 00:17:21,728 --> 00:17:23,396 for colors in this country-- 339 00:17:23,463 --> 00:17:26,466 Tennessee Williams? 340 00:17:31,971 --> 00:17:33,706 Just like that-- No key? 341 00:17:33,773 --> 00:17:36,476 There is, but nobody has to lock a house in paradise. 342 00:17:37,377 --> 00:17:38,911 Hey, it's very attractive. 343 00:17:42,248 --> 00:17:44,183 Even the termites seem to like it. 344 00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:45,585 That's pecky cypress, 345 00:17:45,652 --> 00:17:47,320 and it's quite the rage. 346 00:17:48,888 --> 00:17:50,323 It's very charming. 347 00:17:50,390 --> 00:17:53,593 What do you call this style-- early Disneyland? 348 00:17:58,665 --> 00:18:03,202 By sliding these open, you can bring the outdoors in. 349 00:18:03,269 --> 00:18:05,304 Bugs and all. 350 00:18:13,846 --> 00:18:15,448 This is your TV. 351 00:18:15,515 --> 00:18:17,550 And here's the bar. 352 00:18:17,617 --> 00:18:18,818 Hmm. 353 00:18:18,885 --> 00:18:20,319 The last tenants 354 00:18:20,387 --> 00:18:22,321 must have been real drunks. 355 00:18:22,389 --> 00:18:24,256 There's not a drop left. 356 00:18:24,323 --> 00:18:27,627 There are two bedrooms, but only one is furnished. 357 00:18:27,694 --> 00:18:30,329 One is all a bachelor needs 358 00:18:30,397 --> 00:18:32,632 if he works it right. 359 00:18:37,904 --> 00:18:39,639 Sweet. 360 00:18:43,676 --> 00:18:45,512 Painter couldn't make up his mind, huh? 361 00:18:52,318 --> 00:18:54,621 What's this-- a runway for the mice? 362 00:18:54,687 --> 00:18:56,423 If you're so disenchanted, 363 00:18:56,489 --> 00:18:59,826 I'll be happy to tear up the lease. 364 00:18:59,892 --> 00:19:00,893 Oh, no. No. 365 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,030 It's not a bad little cracker box. 366 00:19:04,096 --> 00:19:05,465 100 million Americans 367 00:19:05,532 --> 00:19:07,500 would love to live in this cracker box. 368 00:19:07,567 --> 00:19:09,669 That would make it crowded. 369 00:19:09,736 --> 00:19:11,438 Anything else I can show you? 370 00:19:11,504 --> 00:19:14,073 No. Just let me enjoy 371 00:19:14,140 --> 00:19:15,508 the thrill of discovery. 372 00:19:15,575 --> 00:19:17,510 You have a kitchen, broom closet... 373 00:19:17,577 --> 00:19:20,547 All the comforts. Even indoor plumbing. 374 00:19:20,613 --> 00:19:23,182 Good. I hate those long walks. 375 00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:24,517 Good afternoon, Mr. Adams. 376 00:19:24,584 --> 00:19:26,385 Wait. My luggage? 377 00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:29,121 What was that? 378 00:19:29,188 --> 00:19:30,757 The school bus. 379 00:19:30,823 --> 00:19:32,859 Sounds like one of the kids is driving. 380 00:19:59,486 --> 00:20:02,722 What do you say I take you to dinner? 381 00:20:02,789 --> 00:20:05,992 Thank you, but I have a business appointment. 382 00:20:06,058 --> 00:20:07,494 Oh. 383 00:20:08,528 --> 00:20:10,096 Tomorrow night? 384 00:20:10,162 --> 00:20:12,532 Lonely bachelors should stick together, don't you think? 385 00:20:12,599 --> 00:20:15,802 Definitely, and if I find one I think you'd like, 386 00:20:15,868 --> 00:20:18,705 I'll let you know. Good-bye. 387 00:20:20,339 --> 00:20:21,541 Bye. 388 00:20:30,917 --> 00:20:33,185 Hi. Who are you? 389 00:20:33,252 --> 00:20:35,187 Mr. Adams. I'm moving in. 390 00:20:35,254 --> 00:20:36,689 I'm Peter. I live there. 391 00:20:36,756 --> 00:20:37,957 Where? 392 00:20:38,024 --> 00:20:41,561 I won't tell. I'm not supposed to talk to strangers. 393 00:20:41,628 --> 00:20:42,829 Is he a stranger? 394 00:20:42,895 --> 00:20:46,666 Sure. Here's my sister-- Mrs. Macintyre. 395 00:20:46,733 --> 00:20:50,069 Mrs. Macintyre? Well, ma'am, how do you do? 396 00:20:50,136 --> 00:20:51,704 How do I do what? 397 00:20:53,673 --> 00:20:56,509 It's just not my day for women. 398 00:20:56,576 --> 00:20:58,845 He sure is a stranger. 399 00:20:58,911 --> 00:21:00,112 Come on. 400 00:21:28,074 --> 00:21:29,876 Oh, for Pete's sake! 401 00:21:40,486 --> 00:21:41,487 Ohh! 402 00:21:41,554 --> 00:21:43,690 You scared me. Who are you? 403 00:21:43,756 --> 00:21:46,659 Jack Adams. Do you come with the house? 404 00:21:46,726 --> 00:21:48,795 Are you Rosemary's friend? 405 00:21:48,861 --> 00:21:49,862 Not yet. 406 00:21:49,929 --> 00:21:52,932 Then why are you in her house? 407 00:21:52,999 --> 00:21:54,834 Is this Rosemary Howard's house? 408 00:21:54,901 --> 00:21:56,569 Sure. Didn't you know? 409 00:21:56,636 --> 00:21:58,504 I wish I had. 410 00:21:58,571 --> 00:22:00,506 She's renting this to me, 411 00:22:00,573 --> 00:22:02,508 but she didn't tell me. 412 00:22:02,575 --> 00:22:04,276 Oh! She did say that. 413 00:22:04,343 --> 00:22:07,446 Hi. I'm Linda Delavane, your next-door neighbor. 414 00:22:07,513 --> 00:22:09,448 I was grinding my garbage. 415 00:22:09,515 --> 00:22:11,417 What's wrong with your grinder? 416 00:22:11,483 --> 00:22:12,985 We don't have one. 417 00:22:13,052 --> 00:22:16,155 See, you get your choice of garbage disposer 418 00:22:16,222 --> 00:22:17,657 or dishwasher. 419 00:22:17,724 --> 00:22:19,926 The disposer was a little extra, 420 00:22:19,992 --> 00:22:22,829 and Larry didn't want the obligation. 421 00:22:22,895 --> 00:22:23,630 Larry? 422 00:22:23,696 --> 00:22:25,064 My husband. 423 00:22:25,131 --> 00:22:26,532 You're married? 424 00:22:26,599 --> 00:22:28,801 Better be-- I've got two children. 425 00:22:28,868 --> 00:22:31,804 Larry's a senior inertial control systems analyst-- 426 00:22:31,871 --> 00:22:33,472 an important position. 427 00:22:33,539 --> 00:22:35,007 Especially if you want 428 00:22:35,074 --> 00:22:36,676 your control system analyzed. 429 00:22:36,743 --> 00:22:38,678 You're Southern, aren't you? 430 00:22:38,745 --> 00:22:40,146 Savannah, Georgia! 431 00:22:40,212 --> 00:22:41,547 Sho'. 432 00:22:41,614 --> 00:22:44,116 I met Larry at Michigan while on scholarship. 433 00:22:44,183 --> 00:22:45,184 Basketball? 434 00:22:45,251 --> 00:22:47,119 Oh! Romance languages. 435 00:22:47,186 --> 00:22:51,090 I was going to teach, but we got married the day we graduated. 436 00:22:51,157 --> 00:22:54,026 Then Stevie came along, and then Dougie, 437 00:22:54,093 --> 00:22:57,296 and now I'm settled down as a hausfrau. 438 00:22:57,363 --> 00:22:59,298 You're a living soap opera. 439 00:22:59,365 --> 00:23:01,100 Don't you like it here? 440 00:23:01,167 --> 00:23:03,102 For the children, it's marvelous, 441 00:23:03,169 --> 00:23:05,805 but there's so little cultural stimulation, 442 00:23:05,872 --> 00:23:08,107 and the good lord didn't intend 443 00:23:08,174 --> 00:23:11,811 for me to use my phi beta kappa key 444 00:23:11,878 --> 00:23:13,813 to open grated cheese cans. 445 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:15,815 What are you doing there? 446 00:23:15,882 --> 00:23:18,117 Loosening this so it will start. 447 00:23:18,184 --> 00:23:20,820 Rosemary showed me how. She's sweet. 448 00:23:20,887 --> 00:23:22,354 When theirs gets stuck, 449 00:23:22,421 --> 00:23:25,557 she takes in garbage from the whole neighborhood. 450 00:23:25,624 --> 00:23:28,560 Nice of her to find me this location-- 451 00:23:28,627 --> 00:23:30,629 in the middle of things. 452 00:23:30,697 --> 00:23:31,898 Can I help? 453 00:23:31,964 --> 00:23:34,867 Now, hold it firm and move it around. 454 00:23:34,934 --> 00:23:38,070 Sort of like stirring the fudge, isn't it? 455 00:23:38,137 --> 00:23:39,305 O.K. 456 00:23:43,175 --> 00:23:44,610 Hold it! 457 00:23:44,677 --> 00:23:46,612 You got it on high? 458 00:23:46,679 --> 00:23:48,114 Wait! 459 00:23:48,180 --> 00:23:49,916 O.K. 460 00:23:50,683 --> 00:23:52,618 They get vicious 461 00:23:52,685 --> 00:23:55,688 when they haven't been fed for a while, 462 00:23:55,755 --> 00:23:57,223 don't they? 463 00:24:18,610 --> 00:24:19,846 Hello, men! 464 00:24:19,912 --> 00:24:21,914 You broke my drum! 465 00:24:23,582 --> 00:24:25,517 You shouldn't leave it here. 466 00:24:25,584 --> 00:24:27,519 Let's turn this down! 467 00:24:27,586 --> 00:24:28,921 Whew! 468 00:24:28,988 --> 00:24:32,024 David Douglas Delavane! Who put your cage on? 469 00:24:32,091 --> 00:24:33,325 Mommy did. 470 00:24:33,392 --> 00:24:36,528 He started eating a bottle of nail Polish. 471 00:24:36,595 --> 00:24:37,830 You Billy goat. 472 00:24:37,897 --> 00:24:40,833 Stevie, let's get him ready for dinner. 473 00:24:40,900 --> 00:24:42,534 Linda, I'm home! 474 00:24:42,601 --> 00:24:44,136 I'm here, honey. 475 00:24:52,611 --> 00:24:54,046 Y-your birthday? 476 00:24:54,113 --> 00:24:55,547 Hmm-mm. 477 00:24:55,614 --> 00:24:57,049 Our anniversary? 478 00:24:57,116 --> 00:24:58,050 No. 479 00:24:58,117 --> 00:24:59,385 My birthday? 480 00:24:59,451 --> 00:25:02,755 No. It's Mr. Adams' idea. He rented Rosemary's house. 481 00:25:02,822 --> 00:25:05,892 He says a man likes to come home 482 00:25:05,958 --> 00:25:09,061 and see his wife in a pretty frock. 483 00:25:09,128 --> 00:25:10,329 He's right. 484 00:25:10,396 --> 00:25:11,798 You'd like him. 485 00:25:11,864 --> 00:25:13,766 He's nice-looking, cute, mysterious. 486 00:25:13,833 --> 00:25:15,034 He speaks French. 487 00:25:15,101 --> 00:25:17,003 What's so mysterious about that? 488 00:25:17,069 --> 00:25:19,939 You've got three guys to feed, baby. 489 00:25:20,006 --> 00:25:21,841 Give me 10 minutes. 490 00:25:21,908 --> 00:25:23,342 10 minutes? 491 00:25:23,409 --> 00:25:25,111 I lost track of time. 492 00:25:25,177 --> 00:25:27,746 Jack and I got to chatting. 493 00:25:27,814 --> 00:25:29,048 I was transported 494 00:25:29,115 --> 00:25:31,683 to all sorts of romantic places. 495 00:25:31,750 --> 00:25:33,953 Forgot all about dishes and diapers. 496 00:25:34,020 --> 00:25:36,923 So Mr. Adams equals mystery and romance. 497 00:25:36,989 --> 00:25:39,591 Mr. Delavane equals diapers and dishes. 498 00:25:39,658 --> 00:25:40,692 Larry! 499 00:25:40,759 --> 00:25:42,594 Some stranger fills my wife 500 00:25:42,661 --> 00:25:44,596 with talk about romantic places, 501 00:25:44,663 --> 00:25:46,598 changing clothes, and speaking French. 502 00:25:46,665 --> 00:25:48,901 I never did trust that language. 503 00:25:48,968 --> 00:25:50,903 Larry, don't be so sensitive. 504 00:25:50,970 --> 00:25:52,604 Are you jealous? 505 00:25:52,671 --> 00:25:54,040 Me? Jealous? 506 00:25:54,106 --> 00:25:56,843 But there are jealous husbands around here, 507 00:25:56,909 --> 00:25:59,812 and if Mr. Adams starts transporting their wives, 508 00:25:59,879 --> 00:26:02,214 we'll have more trouble in paradise 509 00:26:02,281 --> 00:26:05,084 than Eve started with that apple! 510 00:26:29,641 --> 00:26:33,645 Say, would you send a cab to 22931 Katherina street? 511 00:26:33,712 --> 00:26:35,147 Right away. 512 00:26:35,214 --> 00:26:36,949 Thank you. 513 00:27:00,772 --> 00:27:03,775 Are you in a hurry, miss Howard? 514 00:27:03,842 --> 00:27:05,077 Yes. 515 00:27:05,144 --> 00:27:08,480 I have an appointment at 8:00, but I... 516 00:27:18,190 --> 00:27:19,558 Um... 517 00:27:19,625 --> 00:27:23,129 Just bring me a hamburger and coffee to go, Thelma. 518 00:27:23,195 --> 00:27:24,530 O.K. 519 00:27:27,934 --> 00:27:30,702 I can't tell you when I'll be free 520 00:27:30,769 --> 00:27:31,971 for another call. 521 00:27:32,038 --> 00:27:34,873 I don't know how fast this nut eats. 522 00:27:34,941 --> 00:27:36,142 Yeah. 523 00:28:07,739 --> 00:28:09,141 Well, guys and gals, 524 00:28:09,208 --> 00:28:12,044 if this didn't get you up, you're dead. 525 00:28:47,179 --> 00:28:50,082 How the Americans live, chapter one. 526 00:28:50,149 --> 00:28:52,484 The din dawns with the day. 527 00:28:52,551 --> 00:28:54,486 Throughout most of the civilized world, 528 00:28:54,553 --> 00:28:57,456 the new day is born in a silence so profound, 529 00:28:57,523 --> 00:28:59,558 one can imagine he hears the morning glory 530 00:28:59,625 --> 00:29:02,761 open its petals to greet the rising sun. 531 00:29:02,828 --> 00:29:07,033 Hour-conscious, minute-counting, time-saving America 532 00:29:07,099 --> 00:29:08,534 is blasted from sleep 533 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:11,537 by explosive screams of the alarm clock radio, 534 00:29:11,603 --> 00:29:14,373 which may largely explain the frenetic pace 535 00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:17,676 that jangles the nation's nerves throughout the day. 536 00:29:32,124 --> 00:29:33,392 Timed to the split second, 537 00:29:33,459 --> 00:29:35,361 an entire community prepares for the day 538 00:29:35,427 --> 00:29:37,296 in a seemingly well-regulated schedule 539 00:29:37,363 --> 00:29:40,266 that first dispatches the adult males 540 00:29:40,332 --> 00:29:41,667 and gets them safely 541 00:29:41,733 --> 00:29:44,336 into the aorta of the city's traffic system-- 542 00:29:44,403 --> 00:29:47,339 those marvels of engineering called freeways 543 00:29:47,406 --> 00:29:50,442 that have contributed so much to American progress. 544 00:30:15,167 --> 00:30:16,535 The next major movement 545 00:30:16,602 --> 00:30:19,138 of which the objective observer is aware 546 00:30:19,205 --> 00:30:20,239 comes after an interval 547 00:30:20,306 --> 00:30:21,673 during which the adult females 548 00:30:21,740 --> 00:30:24,476 have attended their basic household chores. 549 00:30:24,543 --> 00:30:28,247 They run errands, walk dogs, stroll babies, 550 00:30:28,314 --> 00:30:31,150 borrow, lend, exchange, and discuss. 551 00:30:39,057 --> 00:30:41,493 And during the period from sunup till sundown, 552 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:45,264 the typical American community is completely matriarchal, 553 00:30:45,331 --> 00:30:47,933 dominated entirely by females-- 554 00:30:47,999 --> 00:30:51,137 a no man's land more foreboding than ancient Scythia, 555 00:30:51,203 --> 00:30:52,838 home of the Amazon. 556 00:30:52,904 --> 00:30:54,206 Hi, stranger. 557 00:30:54,273 --> 00:30:56,975 Well, Mrs. Macintyre, why aren't you in school? 558 00:30:57,042 --> 00:30:58,777 I had to stay home today. 559 00:30:58,844 --> 00:31:00,879 My husband is sick. 560 00:31:00,946 --> 00:31:01,880 What's the matter? 561 00:31:01,947 --> 00:31:03,682 I think he's pregnant. 562 00:31:05,584 --> 00:31:06,785 Bye. 563 00:31:21,867 --> 00:31:23,635 Go this way, stranger. 564 00:31:40,252 --> 00:31:42,154 What are you going to buy, stranger? 565 00:31:42,221 --> 00:31:43,221 Lots of things. 566 00:31:43,255 --> 00:31:44,890 Then you better get a wagon. 567 00:31:52,364 --> 00:31:54,400 Sissy, I told you to wait in the car. 568 00:31:54,466 --> 00:31:57,102 I have to help the stranger. 569 00:31:57,169 --> 00:31:59,505 You're Mr. Adams, the new gentleman. 570 00:31:59,571 --> 00:32:01,373 I'm Bertha Pickering, sissy's mother. 571 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,209 I hope she isn't too bothersome. 572 00:32:03,275 --> 00:32:05,944 No. She can help if you don't object. 573 00:32:06,011 --> 00:32:07,746 Behave now, sissy. 574 00:32:11,183 --> 00:32:12,584 Pardon me. 575 00:32:16,788 --> 00:32:19,558 I was just about to call the auto club. 576 00:32:19,625 --> 00:32:21,059 I'll be in fresh vegetables. 577 00:32:21,126 --> 00:32:23,662 Stranger, what will you buy? 578 00:32:23,729 --> 00:32:25,697 Let's start with coffee. Where's that? 579 00:32:25,764 --> 00:32:26,765 Down this way. 580 00:32:52,090 --> 00:32:53,959 Can I have one? 581 00:32:54,025 --> 00:32:55,827 Oh, sure. Be my guest. 582 00:33:01,267 --> 00:33:03,201 No. No. Not from the bottom. 583 00:33:03,269 --> 00:33:05,237 Can I have some for my husband? 584 00:33:05,304 --> 00:33:06,938 Let me get it, honey. 585 00:33:11,677 --> 00:33:15,013 Floor man, accident on aisle 14. 586 00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:16,848 Big brother is watching you. 587 00:33:19,651 --> 00:33:21,953 He did it! 588 00:33:22,020 --> 00:33:23,021 Where do you get eggs? 589 00:33:23,088 --> 00:33:24,856 From chickens! 590 00:33:24,923 --> 00:33:26,558 Eggs are this way. 591 00:33:26,625 --> 00:33:28,226 Well, you help the nice man 592 00:33:28,294 --> 00:33:29,895 put the cans together, huh? 593 00:33:29,961 --> 00:33:31,963 Here. That's for her husband. 594 00:34:24,516 --> 00:34:26,485 Are there any more small broilers? 595 00:34:26,552 --> 00:34:29,154 Sorry, ma'am. Not until the next delivery. 596 00:34:29,220 --> 00:34:30,922 Oh, dear. 597 00:34:30,989 --> 00:34:32,090 Allow me. 598 00:34:32,157 --> 00:34:33,258 Thanks just the same. 599 00:34:33,325 --> 00:34:34,726 I can't cook. 600 00:34:34,793 --> 00:34:35,794 Why'd you buy it? 601 00:34:35,861 --> 00:34:39,264 To practice, but I can practice with eggs. 602 00:34:39,331 --> 00:34:41,266 I'll find something else. 603 00:34:41,333 --> 00:34:44,370 We'll split it. 604 00:34:44,436 --> 00:34:46,071 You cook it. 605 00:34:46,137 --> 00:34:47,072 Then bring it to my place, 606 00:34:47,138 --> 00:34:49,007 and we'll share it. 607 00:34:49,074 --> 00:34:51,477 You're very generous. 608 00:34:51,543 --> 00:34:53,545 Don't you think I'm worth half a chicken? 609 00:34:53,612 --> 00:34:56,214 I haven't thought of you in terms of chickens. 610 00:34:56,281 --> 00:34:58,316 I haven't thought of you, period. 611 00:34:58,384 --> 00:35:01,587 Wait. I want to apologize 612 00:35:01,653 --> 00:35:03,622 for the things I said yesterday. 613 00:35:03,689 --> 00:35:05,457 Why didn't you tell me it was your house? 614 00:35:05,524 --> 00:35:08,760 I thought it would be less embarrassing. 615 00:35:08,827 --> 00:35:10,462 Please forgive me. 616 00:35:13,298 --> 00:35:15,634 Ours is purely a business arrangement. 617 00:35:15,701 --> 00:35:17,803 You rented my house, not me. 618 00:35:17,869 --> 00:35:19,371 You're sure you won't reconsider 619 00:35:19,438 --> 00:35:21,973 splitting this broiler tonight? 620 00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:23,709 Tomorrow night? 621 00:35:23,775 --> 00:35:26,912 I'm the safest man in California. 622 00:35:26,978 --> 00:35:29,180 I'm the most determined bachelor you'll ever meet. 623 00:35:29,247 --> 00:35:33,719 That's obvious, but it doesn't make you any safer. 624 00:35:33,785 --> 00:35:35,120 You don't think I'd ask a girl 625 00:35:35,186 --> 00:35:37,856 to come to her own house. 626 00:35:37,923 --> 00:35:41,126 Probably, if you could get away with it. 627 00:35:41,192 --> 00:35:42,894 Pardon me. 628 00:35:42,961 --> 00:35:44,195 Oh, miss Howard! 629 00:35:44,262 --> 00:35:47,198 Dear, you're just the one I need. 630 00:35:47,265 --> 00:35:49,701 Sign this petition to help safeguard 631 00:35:49,768 --> 00:35:52,203 the young people of paradise village. 632 00:35:52,270 --> 00:35:54,105 What is this, Mrs. brown? 633 00:35:54,172 --> 00:35:55,206 The village bookshop 634 00:35:55,273 --> 00:35:56,975 is selling those dreadful books 635 00:35:57,042 --> 00:35:58,744 by a.J. Niles again. 636 00:35:58,810 --> 00:36:00,078 I want them to remove 637 00:36:00,145 --> 00:36:01,813 those nasty volumes 638 00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:04,716 before they corrupt our youth. 639 00:36:04,783 --> 00:36:07,919 Have you ever read any of the books? 640 00:36:07,986 --> 00:36:09,220 Certainly not. 641 00:36:09,287 --> 00:36:12,023 How do you know they're so nasty? 642 00:36:12,090 --> 00:36:16,027 Certain chapters in all of a.J. Niles' books are nasty. 643 00:36:16,094 --> 00:36:19,030 Everyone knows that's what makes him so popular. 644 00:36:19,097 --> 00:36:24,235 I can't see how the presence of a book can corrupt anyone. 645 00:36:24,302 --> 00:36:25,737 It's the parents' duty 646 00:36:25,804 --> 00:36:27,939 to censor their children's reading, 647 00:36:28,006 --> 00:36:29,074 not mine. 648 00:36:29,140 --> 00:36:32,243 I can't sign your petition, Mrs. brown. 649 00:36:32,310 --> 00:36:34,245 I'll sign that, Mrs. brown. 650 00:36:34,312 --> 00:36:36,247 Well, you're a good neighbor. 651 00:36:36,314 --> 00:36:37,949 Mr. Adams, isn't it? 652 00:36:38,016 --> 00:36:39,317 That's right. 653 00:36:39,384 --> 00:36:41,820 I admire your attitude, miss Howard, 654 00:36:41,887 --> 00:36:45,757 but I feel a sense of obligation to the writer. 655 00:36:45,824 --> 00:36:47,759 Every attempt to suppress books 656 00:36:47,826 --> 00:36:50,762 helps push them atop the bestseller list. 657 00:36:50,829 --> 00:36:53,765 Thank you, on behalf of a.J. Niles 658 00:36:53,832 --> 00:36:56,568 and the bureau of internal revenue. 659 00:37:02,808 --> 00:37:05,911 Floor man, accident on aisle three. 660 00:37:07,212 --> 00:37:09,581 I see you found the eggs. 661 00:37:29,367 --> 00:37:31,136 I'm sorry! 662 00:37:31,202 --> 00:37:32,202 My fault! 663 00:37:32,237 --> 00:37:33,739 That's all right. 664 00:38:14,112 --> 00:38:15,914 Um... 665 00:38:15,981 --> 00:38:18,349 I hope you don't think I'm following you, 666 00:38:18,416 --> 00:38:20,051 but something's leaking. 667 00:38:20,118 --> 00:38:21,152 Leaking? 668 00:38:21,219 --> 00:38:24,355 Yeah, from your car, all over the street. 669 00:38:24,422 --> 00:38:26,858 Here it is. What is that? 670 00:38:26,925 --> 00:38:29,060 It looks like soap powder. 671 00:38:29,127 --> 00:38:30,261 It is soap powder. 672 00:38:30,328 --> 00:38:33,364 Well, that's all right. I have several boxes. 673 00:38:33,431 --> 00:38:35,366 This is Rosemary Howard's house. 674 00:38:35,433 --> 00:38:36,868 That's right. I'm leasing. 675 00:38:36,935 --> 00:38:40,371 Oh, I heard she rented it to a bachelor. 676 00:38:40,438 --> 00:38:41,873 Jack Adams. 677 00:38:41,940 --> 00:38:43,541 No wonder Tom was so upset 678 00:38:43,609 --> 00:38:45,143 when he heard you had moved in. 679 00:38:45,210 --> 00:38:46,244 Tom? 680 00:38:46,311 --> 00:38:47,746 Tom Jynson. 681 00:38:47,813 --> 00:38:50,582 The blow-hard who built this no man's land. 682 00:38:50,649 --> 00:38:53,585 I'm Mrs. Tom Jynson. 683 00:38:53,652 --> 00:38:55,386 Well, I'm sorry. I-- 684 00:38:55,453 --> 00:38:56,554 that's quite all right. 685 00:38:56,622 --> 00:38:58,389 Blow-hard's a good word for him. 686 00:38:58,456 --> 00:39:00,892 Here. Let me help. You get the others. 687 00:39:25,483 --> 00:39:27,819 I'll get the rest. 688 00:39:45,003 --> 00:39:47,238 Certainly neighborly of you, Mrs. Jynson. 689 00:39:47,305 --> 00:39:48,339 Dolores. 690 00:39:48,406 --> 00:39:49,941 Thank you, Dolores. 691 00:39:50,008 --> 00:39:52,277 Can I help you with something else? 692 00:39:52,343 --> 00:39:53,611 I love to do for a man, 693 00:39:53,679 --> 00:39:55,280 and Tom doesn't need me 694 00:39:55,346 --> 00:39:58,616 to do for him lately. 695 00:39:58,684 --> 00:40:03,454 Is there something I can do for you? 696 00:40:03,521 --> 00:40:06,457 Show me how the washing machine works. 697 00:40:06,524 --> 00:40:07,959 Oh, that's nothing. 698 00:40:08,026 --> 00:40:10,028 I already put the laundry in. 699 00:40:10,095 --> 00:40:12,163 You did? 700 00:40:12,230 --> 00:40:13,965 You put the soap in 701 00:40:14,032 --> 00:40:15,233 this little trap door on top. 702 00:40:15,300 --> 00:40:19,370 Then you, um, you turn this dial. 703 00:40:19,437 --> 00:40:20,437 Is that all? 704 00:40:20,471 --> 00:40:22,240 Mm-hmm. Simple. 705 00:40:22,307 --> 00:40:24,743 Why don't you go ahead and get things started, 706 00:40:24,810 --> 00:40:27,378 and I'll put the groceries away. 707 00:40:27,445 --> 00:40:28,747 O.K. 708 00:40:48,967 --> 00:40:51,169 I keep everything on the top shelf. 709 00:40:54,639 --> 00:40:56,808 Hey, don't put in too much soap. 710 00:40:56,875 --> 00:40:58,376 How much is too much? 711 00:40:58,443 --> 00:41:00,245 Well, that's more than enough. 712 00:41:02,447 --> 00:41:03,614 Oh, gosh, yes. 713 00:41:03,681 --> 00:41:06,217 Now you close this, 714 00:41:06,284 --> 00:41:07,953 and you just, uh, 715 00:41:08,019 --> 00:41:10,288 well, you just turn this dial. 716 00:41:11,757 --> 00:41:14,960 I must have left some change in the pockets. 717 00:41:15,026 --> 00:41:16,494 The first cycle's the noisiest. 718 00:41:16,561 --> 00:41:18,730 Then it settles down to a roar. 719 00:41:20,766 --> 00:41:22,868 Don't wear yourself out this way. 720 00:41:22,934 --> 00:41:24,469 You're too pretty for the kitchen. 721 00:41:24,535 --> 00:41:25,804 Oh? 722 00:41:29,107 --> 00:41:30,909 Um, I'm not keeping you 723 00:41:30,976 --> 00:41:32,911 from anything urgent, am I? 724 00:41:32,978 --> 00:41:36,381 I was going to dust, but I can do that later. 725 00:41:36,447 --> 00:41:37,983 Am I holding you up? 726 00:41:38,049 --> 00:41:42,120 You are...From my cocktail hour. 727 00:41:42,187 --> 00:41:43,421 Isn't it early? 728 00:41:43,488 --> 00:41:44,522 What else is there to do? 729 00:41:44,589 --> 00:41:47,092 In alphabetical order? 730 00:41:47,158 --> 00:41:49,694 Um, there's something I might explain 731 00:41:49,761 --> 00:41:51,029 about Tom and me 732 00:41:51,096 --> 00:41:54,099 that would put your mind very at ease. 733 00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,268 Can you make a really dry Gibson? 734 00:41:57,335 --> 00:41:58,403 Five parts gin, 735 00:41:58,469 --> 00:42:01,706 and I think for a moment about the vermouth. 736 00:42:01,773 --> 00:42:04,575 See, we're separated. 737 00:42:04,642 --> 00:42:06,411 We hardly ever see each other. 738 00:42:06,477 --> 00:42:09,314 That put your mind at ease? 739 00:42:09,380 --> 00:42:10,381 Just my conscience. 740 00:42:10,448 --> 00:42:13,218 My mind's having a ball. 741 00:42:13,284 --> 00:42:15,420 We're more than separated, really. 742 00:42:15,486 --> 00:42:18,256 We're about to be divorced. 743 00:42:18,323 --> 00:42:21,459 I, uh, consider myself an unattached woman... 744 00:42:21,526 --> 00:42:22,760 Practically... 745 00:42:22,828 --> 00:42:24,429 If you know what I mean. 746 00:42:24,495 --> 00:42:26,097 I'm terribly afraid I do. 747 00:42:29,434 --> 00:42:30,434 Woop. 748 00:42:30,468 --> 00:42:31,870 Excuse me. 749 00:42:40,545 --> 00:42:41,947 Mmm... 750 00:42:42,013 --> 00:42:43,248 Here's a little hitchhiker. 751 00:42:43,314 --> 00:42:45,050 Thank you. 752 00:42:45,116 --> 00:42:48,019 We have community property laws in this state, 753 00:42:48,086 --> 00:42:49,254 and he's finding out 754 00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:51,923 he can't treat me the way he treats me. 755 00:42:51,990 --> 00:42:53,024 Aren't you having one? 756 00:42:53,091 --> 00:42:54,159 Little early for me. 757 00:42:54,225 --> 00:42:56,794 Early? It's April. Cheers. 758 00:43:06,938 --> 00:43:10,808 So, until he acts like a real husband should, 759 00:43:10,876 --> 00:43:13,244 I'm going to keep all that money tied up, 760 00:43:13,311 --> 00:43:18,216 and his paradise hills can just sit there. 761 00:43:18,283 --> 00:43:20,518 You're the reason they stopped working on that? 762 00:43:20,585 --> 00:43:21,819 Me and my lawyers. 763 00:43:21,887 --> 00:43:23,821 He thinks he's so smart. 764 00:43:23,889 --> 00:43:25,823 Oh, he's made a fortune, 765 00:43:25,891 --> 00:43:28,326 but he's all business, that man. 766 00:43:28,393 --> 00:43:31,329 I found the loveliest house in bel air. 767 00:43:31,396 --> 00:43:34,532 I went into escrow, but would he sign? 768 00:43:34,599 --> 00:43:35,833 Not Tom Jynson. 769 00:43:35,901 --> 00:43:37,335 He stays in paradise 770 00:43:37,402 --> 00:43:39,704 where he can keep his finger on the pulse of things. 771 00:43:39,770 --> 00:43:41,139 That's a laugh. 772 00:43:41,206 --> 00:43:42,573 Is it? 773 00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:48,980 Sure! He moves to a hotel and leaves me stuck in paradise. 774 00:43:56,654 --> 00:43:57,989 Oh, thank you. 775 00:44:00,191 --> 00:44:03,861 But a woman gets that lonely feeling. 776 00:44:03,929 --> 00:44:06,364 She wants somebody to admire her 777 00:44:06,431 --> 00:44:09,567 and tell her how pretty she looks 778 00:44:09,634 --> 00:44:10,969 and things like that. 779 00:44:11,036 --> 00:44:14,872 Why don't you come over here where we can talk? 780 00:44:14,940 --> 00:44:17,575 You're coming in loud and clear. 781 00:44:17,642 --> 00:44:18,876 Oh, come on! 782 00:44:18,944 --> 00:44:20,878 You're so sympathetic and understanding. 783 00:44:20,946 --> 00:44:23,881 You're a very easy woman to understand. 784 00:44:23,949 --> 00:44:25,216 Am I? 785 00:44:25,283 --> 00:44:26,284 Uh-huh. 786 00:44:26,351 --> 00:44:29,820 May I ask you a very personal question? 787 00:44:29,887 --> 00:44:30,956 Mm-hmm. 788 00:44:31,022 --> 00:44:33,191 Do you find me attractive as a woman? 789 00:44:33,258 --> 00:44:37,295 You're extremely attractive as a woman. 790 00:44:37,362 --> 00:44:39,897 Tom doesn't find me attractive. 791 00:44:39,965 --> 00:44:41,899 He used to, but not anymore. 792 00:44:41,967 --> 00:44:43,510 That's the trouble with those real-estate men. 793 00:44:43,534 --> 00:44:44,970 Once they get you through escrow, 794 00:44:45,036 --> 00:44:46,371 they lose interest. 795 00:44:46,437 --> 00:44:50,908 He goes out with other women, 796 00:44:50,976 --> 00:44:55,913 one very other woman in particular--Rosemary. 797 00:44:55,981 --> 00:44:57,915 Rosemary Howard? 798 00:44:57,983 --> 00:45:00,218 They were together all the time. 799 00:45:00,285 --> 00:45:04,222 He used to leave me night after night after night. 800 00:45:04,289 --> 00:45:05,923 It was always business, 801 00:45:05,991 --> 00:45:08,226 and it was always Rosemary. 802 00:45:08,293 --> 00:45:13,431 I'm, uh, a lonely woman, Jack. 803 00:45:13,498 --> 00:45:16,234 So very, very lonely. 804 00:45:16,301 --> 00:45:19,237 Yeah, I'm beginning to see what you mean. 805 00:45:19,304 --> 00:45:22,240 Have you ever thought of buying a parakeet? 806 00:45:22,307 --> 00:45:24,942 They say tropical fish are fun. 807 00:45:25,010 --> 00:45:26,244 I can't help it. 808 00:45:26,311 --> 00:45:29,247 I'm not made of stone, you know? 809 00:45:29,314 --> 00:45:32,950 Not unless they're doing some new things with it. 810 00:45:33,018 --> 00:45:35,253 I'm kind of lonely here myself. 811 00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:37,955 You are? I'm a marvelous cook! 812 00:45:38,023 --> 00:45:39,957 I'll make you breakfast. 813 00:45:40,025 --> 00:45:41,459 I had breakfast. 814 00:45:41,526 --> 00:45:44,062 Tomorrow's? 815 00:45:44,129 --> 00:45:46,831 It'll get cold. 816 00:45:46,897 --> 00:45:50,068 Well, I'll come over and heat it up. 817 00:45:54,972 --> 00:45:56,207 Oh, my gosh! 818 00:45:56,274 --> 00:45:58,676 I must have pushed the wrong dial! 819 00:45:58,743 --> 00:46:00,978 What'd you set it for, Niagara Falls? 820 00:46:01,046 --> 00:46:02,447 We got to shut it off. 821 00:46:02,513 --> 00:46:05,483 Aah! Ooh! 822 00:46:08,753 --> 00:46:10,021 Mommy, look. 823 00:46:10,088 --> 00:46:12,657 The house is throwing up. 824 00:46:14,692 --> 00:46:15,760 What's happening? 825 00:46:15,826 --> 00:46:17,295 Wait here. Watch the kids. 826 00:46:20,298 --> 00:46:22,233 Oh, Jack, what's wrong? 827 00:46:22,300 --> 00:46:23,934 The washing machine. 828 00:46:24,001 --> 00:46:25,503 Get back! 829 00:46:25,570 --> 00:46:29,240 When it switches to rinse, the whole town may go. 830 00:46:29,307 --> 00:46:31,542 I'll phone for help. 831 00:46:38,015 --> 00:46:39,784 Oh, Jack. This is awful. 832 00:46:39,850 --> 00:46:44,289 First time I've seen a kitchen with a head on it. 833 00:46:44,355 --> 00:46:45,990 Don't make any waves. 834 00:46:47,525 --> 00:46:48,959 What's that? 835 00:46:49,026 --> 00:46:51,962 Look for a lump with a tail. 836 00:46:52,029 --> 00:46:53,464 Aah! 837 00:46:53,531 --> 00:46:54,965 Linda! Linda! 838 00:46:55,032 --> 00:46:57,502 She'll be bubbled to death. 839 00:46:57,568 --> 00:46:59,970 Oh, Linda. Linda. 840 00:47:00,037 --> 00:47:01,372 Here! Take him. 841 00:47:01,439 --> 00:47:05,476 Hope he doesn't shrink. He'll be a chihuahua. 842 00:47:11,982 --> 00:47:13,984 Aah! Mad dog! 843 00:47:14,051 --> 00:47:16,154 Mad house! 844 00:47:27,565 --> 00:47:28,999 Where's the fire? 845 00:47:29,066 --> 00:47:30,301 No fire. 846 00:47:30,368 --> 00:47:31,469 What did you call us for? 847 00:47:31,536 --> 00:47:33,704 If I hollered "soap!" Who'd come? 848 00:47:41,379 --> 00:47:43,314 Rosemary, when's the last time 849 00:47:43,381 --> 00:47:44,949 you stopped by your house? 850 00:47:45,015 --> 00:47:46,417 A week ago. Why? 851 00:47:46,484 --> 00:47:50,555 Did it look as if there was any dirty work going on? 852 00:47:50,621 --> 00:47:51,622 Dirty work? 853 00:47:51,689 --> 00:47:52,857 You know. 854 00:47:52,923 --> 00:47:54,925 No, I don't know. 855 00:47:54,992 --> 00:47:56,827 The house never looked cleaner. 856 00:47:56,894 --> 00:48:00,398 There is definitely something strange going on. 857 00:48:00,465 --> 00:48:02,333 Drive down Katherina street, 858 00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:05,035 and you'll see women-- our ladies-- 859 00:48:05,102 --> 00:48:08,038 wearing lipstick and dresses, during the day! 860 00:48:08,105 --> 00:48:10,341 It's starting to spread throughout paradise. 861 00:48:10,408 --> 00:48:13,344 Tom, exactly what is Mrs. brown telling you? 862 00:48:13,411 --> 00:48:16,347 I'll tell you what she told me. 863 00:48:16,414 --> 00:48:19,350 She told me that your harmless Mr. Adams 864 00:48:19,417 --> 00:48:23,053 is entertaining women every afternoon in your house. 865 00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:25,055 Collectively or individually? 866 00:48:25,122 --> 00:48:27,558 Either way, I don't like it. 867 00:48:27,625 --> 00:48:29,059 It looks bad. 868 00:48:29,126 --> 00:48:32,663 I want you to find out what is going on. 869 00:48:37,568 --> 00:48:39,804 Just picture this scene for yourselves-- 870 00:48:39,870 --> 00:48:41,939 your husband comes home. He walks in the house. 871 00:48:42,006 --> 00:48:45,810 He finds candles flickering and the table set for two, 872 00:48:45,876 --> 00:48:47,712 soft, romantic music, 873 00:48:47,778 --> 00:48:51,015 vintage wine chilled, 874 00:48:51,081 --> 00:48:53,451 a faint, alluring scent of perfume. 875 00:48:53,518 --> 00:48:55,486 The setting is perfect. 876 00:48:55,553 --> 00:48:58,155 Then he discovers a woman he's never seen before-- 877 00:48:58,223 --> 00:49:01,125 beautiful, seductive, exciting. 878 00:49:01,192 --> 00:49:02,527 What does he do? 879 00:49:02,593 --> 00:49:03,894 I'll kill him! 880 00:49:03,961 --> 00:49:05,996 Ha ha ha! 881 00:49:06,063 --> 00:49:07,432 The woman is you. 882 00:49:07,498 --> 00:49:09,834 Oh! 883 00:49:09,900 --> 00:49:12,970 It'll be an evening you'll always remember. 884 00:49:13,037 --> 00:49:16,040 You'll awaken passions you've never known before. 885 00:49:16,106 --> 00:49:17,542 I guarantee it'll work. 886 00:49:17,608 --> 00:49:20,144 But what about the children? 887 00:49:20,211 --> 00:49:22,413 Cooperate, just like the Europeans. 888 00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:25,416 Leland's due home tonight. Would you watch Janie? 889 00:49:25,483 --> 00:49:27,418 You take my three tomorrow. 890 00:49:27,485 --> 00:49:29,420 I'll take the boys tonight. 891 00:49:29,487 --> 00:49:31,389 That's the idea, girls. 892 00:49:31,456 --> 00:49:34,659 Tomorrow, I want a report from all who try it tonight. 893 00:49:34,725 --> 00:49:36,927 Happy hunting and toujours I'amour. 894 00:50:07,157 --> 00:50:08,459 Hi, Rosemary. 895 00:50:08,526 --> 00:50:11,095 You missed the most fascinating discussion. 896 00:50:11,161 --> 00:50:13,398 Why haven't you joined our group? 897 00:50:13,464 --> 00:50:15,400 I haven't had time, Camille. 898 00:50:15,466 --> 00:50:17,067 I stopped by on business. 899 00:50:17,134 --> 00:50:18,134 See you. 900 00:50:18,168 --> 00:50:19,168 Bye-bye. 901 00:50:19,203 --> 00:50:20,203 Bye. 902 00:50:20,237 --> 00:50:23,408 It was wonderful. 903 00:50:23,474 --> 00:50:25,410 Well, won't you come in? 904 00:50:25,476 --> 00:50:28,012 I'll only be a minute. 905 00:50:31,482 --> 00:50:34,819 What sort of a group have you formed, Mr. Adams? 906 00:50:34,885 --> 00:50:36,321 It's surely not aa. 907 00:50:36,387 --> 00:50:39,123 One harmless Martini each just to loosen up. 908 00:50:39,189 --> 00:50:40,224 Care for one? 909 00:50:40,291 --> 00:50:43,561 I tighten up with Martinis. 910 00:50:43,628 --> 00:50:45,430 Have you found a secretary? 911 00:50:45,496 --> 00:50:48,232 I thought you were looking into that. 912 00:50:48,299 --> 00:50:51,736 You seem to be interviewing all the women, every afternoon. 913 00:50:51,802 --> 00:50:53,971 We're conducting a cultural exchange. 914 00:50:54,038 --> 00:50:56,741 Discussions of life, love, and the pursuit. 915 00:50:56,807 --> 00:50:59,977 It's had a bracing effect on the community. 916 00:51:00,044 --> 00:51:02,613 There's been a run on girdles. 917 00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:06,150 Your friend Niles' books are all sold out. 918 00:51:06,216 --> 00:51:07,661 How do you know he's a friend of mine? 919 00:51:07,685 --> 00:51:11,188 You signed that petition. 920 00:51:11,255 --> 00:51:13,057 Do you really know him? 921 00:51:13,123 --> 00:51:14,359 Intimately. 922 00:51:14,425 --> 00:51:15,905 We worked on the same sports department 923 00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:17,528 back in Cleveland. 924 00:51:17,595 --> 00:51:20,064 Is he as wicked as his books? 925 00:51:20,130 --> 00:51:23,601 I find him fascinating. 926 00:51:23,668 --> 00:51:25,302 You'd like a.J. Niles. 927 00:51:25,370 --> 00:51:27,104 Splendid fellow. 928 00:51:27,171 --> 00:51:28,773 A bachelor, too, by the way. 929 00:51:28,839 --> 00:51:30,641 What's he look like? 930 00:51:30,708 --> 00:51:33,043 He's devilishly attractive. 931 00:51:33,110 --> 00:51:34,645 I haven't seen a picture. 932 00:51:34,712 --> 00:51:38,549 Most writers have their portraits on the backs of books. 933 00:51:38,616 --> 00:51:41,218 If his face became well-known, 934 00:51:41,285 --> 00:51:44,221 it'd be a handicap to his research. 935 00:51:44,288 --> 00:51:45,590 I'll tell you one thing. 936 00:51:45,656 --> 00:51:48,693 He'd be crazy about you. 937 00:51:48,759 --> 00:51:50,260 Oh? 938 00:51:50,327 --> 00:51:52,262 What makes you so sure? 939 00:51:52,329 --> 00:51:53,531 Your attitude. 940 00:51:53,598 --> 00:51:55,566 Your refreshingly realistic attitude. 941 00:51:55,633 --> 00:51:59,203 You don't have any of the natural female instinct 942 00:51:59,269 --> 00:52:01,305 to deprive a bachelor of his freedom. 943 00:52:01,372 --> 00:52:03,508 I stopped by to tell you 944 00:52:03,574 --> 00:52:06,477 I could get you a part-time secretary. 945 00:52:06,544 --> 00:52:07,554 You could have called that in. 946 00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:11,616 See how it works? Excuse me. 947 00:52:14,952 --> 00:52:16,353 Hello. 948 00:52:16,421 --> 00:52:17,988 Oh, hello. 949 00:52:18,055 --> 00:52:19,457 I'm not sure. Hold on. 950 00:52:19,524 --> 00:52:20,691 Are you busy tonight, 951 00:52:20,758 --> 00:52:21,526 miss Howard? 952 00:52:21,592 --> 00:52:22,760 For dinner, I mean. 953 00:52:22,827 --> 00:52:24,629 Yes. 954 00:52:24,695 --> 00:52:25,695 Do you know someplace 955 00:52:25,730 --> 00:52:27,498 we can have dinner for $5.00? 956 00:52:27,565 --> 00:52:29,266 My allowance is late. 957 00:52:29,333 --> 00:52:30,568 Barbecue's fine. 958 00:52:31,268 --> 00:52:32,937 Where? 959 00:52:33,003 --> 00:52:35,072 The pig pit? 960 00:52:35,139 --> 00:52:36,340 If you say so. 961 00:52:36,407 --> 00:52:38,308 I'll pick you up around 7:00. 962 00:52:38,375 --> 00:52:40,811 O.K. You pick me up. Bye. 963 00:52:43,013 --> 00:52:45,082 I thought the four of us could eat together. 964 00:52:45,149 --> 00:52:46,316 The four of us? 965 00:52:46,383 --> 00:52:49,353 Me and my date, and you and Tom Jynson. 966 00:52:49,420 --> 00:52:50,721 He's a married man. 967 00:52:50,788 --> 00:52:54,425 Dolores Jynson's a married woman. 968 00:52:54,492 --> 00:52:56,661 They're practically divorced. 969 00:52:56,727 --> 00:52:59,129 The four of us would be quite civilized. 970 00:52:59,196 --> 00:53:01,031 Could be quite amusing. 971 00:53:01,098 --> 00:53:02,299 Thanks, Mr. Adams, 972 00:53:02,366 --> 00:53:04,969 but I'm not that desperate for amusement. 973 00:53:05,035 --> 00:53:08,973 Good-bye. 974 00:53:10,741 --> 00:53:13,377 The American woman, in her desperation, 975 00:53:13,444 --> 00:53:14,812 driven toward what she regards 976 00:53:14,879 --> 00:53:16,914 as equality with the American man, 977 00:53:16,981 --> 00:53:19,450 has somehow lost the art of romance. 978 00:53:19,517 --> 00:53:21,385 Now her love for the conveniences-- 979 00:53:21,452 --> 00:53:24,655 the electric can opener, TV-- 980 00:53:27,191 --> 00:53:29,293 That could be stronger. 981 00:53:29,359 --> 00:53:31,128 Let me see... 982 00:53:34,799 --> 00:53:37,434 Memo--check the girls tomorrow 983 00:53:37,502 --> 00:53:40,838 to see how the experiment turned out. 984 00:53:42,339 --> 00:53:45,109 Camille, honey, I'm home! 985 00:54:03,093 --> 00:54:04,695 Well? 986 00:54:04,762 --> 00:54:09,399 Excuse me, madam. Must be in the wrong house. 987 00:54:09,466 --> 00:54:11,068 Leland Quinlaw! 988 00:54:12,937 --> 00:54:16,140 I did not lose the electric light money 989 00:54:16,206 --> 00:54:17,575 in the bridge game! 990 00:54:17,642 --> 00:54:18,876 Then turn them on. 991 00:54:18,943 --> 00:54:21,078 I want candlelight and romance! 992 00:54:21,145 --> 00:54:23,413 I want the lights on! 993 00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:25,415 And what's with the violins? 994 00:54:25,482 --> 00:54:27,117 Who needs this? 995 00:54:27,184 --> 00:54:29,219 I want to see my kids, 996 00:54:29,286 --> 00:54:33,423 and I'm not going to eat dinner in the bedroom! 997 00:54:33,490 --> 00:54:35,425 Take off that ridiculous dress! 998 00:54:40,330 --> 00:54:42,132 Hey, baby. Come here! 999 00:54:42,199 --> 00:54:43,267 Larry! 1000 00:54:43,333 --> 00:54:46,203 You want to play on the couch! 1001 00:54:46,270 --> 00:54:47,938 Larry, I've got to think. 1002 00:54:48,005 --> 00:54:52,009 Not for what I've got in mind, baby! 1003 00:54:56,513 --> 00:54:59,449 You and your ideas, baby. You fracture me. 1004 00:54:59,516 --> 00:55:02,452 Why don't we do this every night? 1005 00:55:02,519 --> 00:55:06,456 You don't, um, miss the kids? 1006 00:55:06,523 --> 00:55:08,759 What kids? 1007 00:55:10,227 --> 00:55:11,461 Baby. 1008 00:55:11,528 --> 00:55:12,462 Hmm? 1009 00:55:12,529 --> 00:55:14,464 Let's skip dinner. 1010 00:55:14,531 --> 00:55:16,466 Mmm...It's cold now anyway. 1011 00:55:16,533 --> 00:55:18,335 Yeah, but I'm not. 1012 00:55:18,402 --> 00:55:21,305 Oh, c'est la vie! 1013 00:56:13,624 --> 00:56:14,659 The ribs were delicious. 1014 00:56:14,725 --> 00:56:16,393 You should have tasted them. 1015 00:56:16,460 --> 00:56:17,728 Mm-hmm. 1016 00:56:17,795 --> 00:56:19,964 Shrimp cocktail and five Gibsons-- 1017 00:56:20,030 --> 00:56:22,566 not a very well-balanced diet. 1018 00:56:22,633 --> 00:56:24,969 I shouldn't have had the shrimp cocktail. 1019 00:56:25,035 --> 00:56:27,004 Sure you won't have coffee? 1020 00:56:27,071 --> 00:56:29,039 I shouldn't have brought you here. 1021 00:56:29,106 --> 00:56:31,709 They don't have the most versatile wine cellar. 1022 00:56:31,776 --> 00:56:33,543 Tom brought me here. 1023 00:56:33,610 --> 00:56:34,712 Tom again. 1024 00:56:34,779 --> 00:56:36,280 That dirty rat! 1025 00:56:36,346 --> 00:56:39,950 So you've been telling me for an hour. 1026 00:56:40,017 --> 00:56:42,586 He'd never take me to expensive places, 1027 00:56:42,653 --> 00:56:45,189 the dirty cheapskate! 1028 00:56:45,255 --> 00:56:46,456 If your mascara runs, 1029 00:56:46,523 --> 00:56:48,492 you'll discolor your vodka. 1030 00:56:48,558 --> 00:56:50,094 You better be careful. 1031 00:56:52,496 --> 00:56:54,164 Excuse me. 1032 00:57:09,479 --> 00:57:10,479 Miss Howard. 1033 00:57:10,514 --> 00:57:11,749 Has Tom been here already? 1034 00:57:11,816 --> 00:57:13,250 Tom Jynson? No. 1035 00:57:13,317 --> 00:57:14,251 Where's Dolores? 1036 00:57:14,318 --> 00:57:16,620 Emergency face repair. Please sit down. 1037 00:57:16,687 --> 00:57:17,855 No, thanks. 1038 00:57:17,922 --> 00:57:19,857 Fortunately, I overheard your conversation 1039 00:57:19,924 --> 00:57:21,425 and knew where to find you. 1040 00:57:21,491 --> 00:57:22,793 The house burn down? 1041 00:57:22,860 --> 00:57:25,062 No, but Tom is very angry. 1042 00:57:25,129 --> 00:57:29,666 Mrs. brown saw you and Dolores leaving, 1043 00:57:29,734 --> 00:57:31,235 so she called him. 1044 00:57:31,301 --> 00:57:34,204 Now he's scouting every restaurant around. 1045 00:57:34,271 --> 00:57:35,272 He'll come here. 1046 00:57:35,339 --> 00:57:36,339 Why not hire a detective? 1047 00:57:36,373 --> 00:57:37,842 He's talked about that. 1048 00:57:37,908 --> 00:57:43,547 He's determined to get something on Dolores to keep the alimony down. 1049 00:57:43,613 --> 00:57:46,083 Tom isn't a man. He's a business machine. 1050 00:57:49,219 --> 00:57:50,020 It's Tom. 1051 00:57:50,087 --> 00:57:52,056 Here comes old IBM now. 1052 00:57:58,796 --> 00:57:59,997 Oh, hello, Tom. 1053 00:58:00,064 --> 00:58:01,265 Rosemary-- 1054 00:58:01,331 --> 00:58:03,734 I thought you stayed away from Gibsons. 1055 00:58:03,801 --> 00:58:05,069 Won't you join us? 1056 00:58:05,135 --> 00:58:07,504 No, thanks. I'm looking for Dolores. 1057 00:58:07,571 --> 00:58:10,174 Going on your second honeymoon? 1058 00:58:10,240 --> 00:58:12,209 You didn't say you were going to dinner 1059 00:58:12,276 --> 00:58:14,912 with Mr. Adams. 1060 00:58:14,979 --> 00:58:16,781 That's no one's business but my own. 1061 00:58:16,847 --> 00:58:20,484 Unfortunately, we were only discussing miss Howard's business. 1062 00:58:20,550 --> 00:58:23,720 Yes. Mr. Adams is thinking of extending his lease. 1063 00:58:23,788 --> 00:58:25,890 We may need a new one. 1064 00:58:25,956 --> 00:58:27,557 Well, from what I hear, 1065 00:58:27,624 --> 00:58:30,327 you'd better add a morality clause. 1066 00:58:31,728 --> 00:58:33,630 Takes a real dirty mind 1067 00:58:33,697 --> 00:58:35,933 to believe everything Mrs. brown says. 1068 00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:37,567 Wait a minute, miss Howard. 1069 00:58:37,634 --> 00:58:38,836 Mission accomplished. 1070 00:58:38,903 --> 00:58:40,737 Thanks, but I've been trying for weeks 1071 00:58:40,805 --> 00:58:43,140 to get you to have dinner with me. 1072 00:58:43,207 --> 00:58:44,141 Have a Gibson? 1073 00:58:44,208 --> 00:58:47,077 I hate Gibsons. 1074 00:58:47,144 --> 00:58:49,646 We're not allowed to drink on rescue missions. 1075 00:58:49,713 --> 00:58:53,650 You're a real problem, you know. 1076 00:58:53,717 --> 00:58:55,953 Well, I'm not sorry for you. 1077 00:58:56,020 --> 00:58:58,055 You certainly don't lack female companionship. 1078 00:58:58,122 --> 00:59:01,158 I only want to maintain peace in paradise. 1079 00:59:01,225 --> 00:59:02,759 Jack Adams! 1080 00:59:02,827 --> 00:59:04,929 The minute I leave the table! 1081 00:59:04,995 --> 00:59:07,064 Honestly, you men are all alike! 1082 00:59:07,131 --> 00:59:09,466 You can't trust any man! 1083 00:59:09,533 --> 00:59:11,969 Excuse me, miss Howard. 1084 00:59:12,036 --> 00:59:14,371 Well, I'd better explain it to her. 1085 00:59:14,438 --> 00:59:16,406 Yeah, but-- 1086 00:59:17,674 --> 00:59:18,909 waiter? 1087 00:59:20,110 --> 00:59:21,145 Waiter? 1088 00:59:23,814 --> 00:59:26,316 Oh, Jacques. 1089 00:59:26,383 --> 00:59:28,585 C'etait merveilleux. 1090 00:59:28,652 --> 00:59:30,120 Cela a developpe exactement 1091 00:59:30,187 --> 00:59:32,089 comme vous l'avez predit. 1092 00:59:32,156 --> 00:59:35,725 Merci. Votre Mari, est-Ce Que ca lui a plu? 1093 00:59:35,792 --> 00:59:37,761 Il en etait ebloui. 1094 00:59:37,828 --> 00:59:40,464 Nous voulons la faire chaque semaine. 1095 01:00:22,072 --> 01:00:23,941 Hello. Come in. 1096 01:00:24,008 --> 01:00:26,843 Or would you feel safer if I came out? 1097 01:00:26,911 --> 01:00:29,914 Your discussion group will be here soon. 1098 01:00:29,980 --> 01:00:31,248 There's safety in numbers. 1099 01:00:31,315 --> 01:00:34,451 Not if the numbers are 38-22-34. 1100 01:00:34,518 --> 01:00:35,953 Ooh, you flatter me. 1101 01:00:36,020 --> 01:00:38,455 What can I do for you? 1102 01:00:38,522 --> 01:00:39,957 Keep away from Dolores. 1103 01:00:40,024 --> 01:00:43,460 I won't chase around, keeping you out of trouble. 1104 01:00:43,527 --> 01:00:45,462 Trouble? I'm a big boy. 1105 01:00:45,529 --> 01:00:46,964 I shave and everything. 1106 01:00:47,031 --> 01:00:48,966 If Tom had caught you, 1107 01:00:49,033 --> 01:00:51,468 you'd be in enough hot water 1108 01:00:51,535 --> 01:00:53,270 to shave for a week. 1109 01:00:53,337 --> 01:00:55,272 He'd have filed for divorce. 1110 01:00:55,339 --> 01:00:58,475 I have a financial interest in paradise village. 1111 01:00:58,542 --> 01:01:00,277 I don't want a scandal. 1112 01:01:00,344 --> 01:01:03,280 Have you resumed work on paradise hills? 1113 01:01:03,347 --> 01:01:06,283 You know we haven't. Why do you ask? 1114 01:01:06,350 --> 01:01:08,852 You haven't found me a secretary. 1115 01:01:08,919 --> 01:01:10,554 The work's piling up. 1116 01:01:10,620 --> 01:01:12,222 Could you help part-time? 1117 01:01:12,289 --> 01:01:14,124 Me? 1118 01:01:14,191 --> 01:01:17,194 You're the only one here I can trust. 1119 01:01:17,261 --> 01:01:18,095 Why? 1120 01:01:18,162 --> 01:01:20,497 It's the nature of my work. 1121 01:01:20,564 --> 01:01:23,833 What is the nature of your work? 1122 01:01:23,900 --> 01:01:25,835 It's a series of reports. 1123 01:01:25,902 --> 01:01:27,137 Oh, government work? 1124 01:01:27,204 --> 01:01:29,639 I am working for the government. 1125 01:01:29,706 --> 01:01:33,143 It occurred to me, until you resume paradise hills, 1126 01:01:33,210 --> 01:01:35,845 you could help me each evening. 1127 01:01:35,912 --> 01:01:38,848 Sorry. I don't like to work nights. 1128 01:01:38,915 --> 01:01:40,850 Wait. Let's discuss this more. 1129 01:01:40,917 --> 01:01:42,319 There's nothing to discuss. 1130 01:01:42,386 --> 01:01:44,721 I'd like to explain over dinner. 1131 01:01:44,788 --> 01:01:47,857 I've discovered a little place not only affordable, 1132 01:01:47,924 --> 01:01:50,760 but where the food's fit for the angels 1133 01:01:50,827 --> 01:01:53,297 and the drinks for the gods. 1134 01:01:55,499 --> 01:01:57,367 Call me later. 1135 01:02:04,674 --> 01:02:07,777 Is he a bartender or a landscape architect? 1136 01:02:07,844 --> 01:02:09,079 He's an artist. 1137 01:02:09,146 --> 01:02:11,081 Care for a scorpion's kiss? 1138 01:02:11,148 --> 01:02:12,816 That's what they're called? 1139 01:02:12,882 --> 01:02:14,818 And this is a bikini. 1140 01:02:14,884 --> 01:02:16,320 That's an odd name. 1141 01:02:16,386 --> 01:02:20,357 There's not much to it, but it hits the right spots. 1142 01:02:20,424 --> 01:02:23,260 I've had two and don't feel a thing. 1143 01:02:23,327 --> 01:02:25,829 We'd better get you another one. 1144 01:02:25,895 --> 01:02:27,831 Another brace of bikinis, please. 1145 01:02:27,897 --> 01:02:30,234 Sorry. Only two to a customer. 1146 01:02:30,300 --> 01:02:31,201 Come on. 1147 01:02:31,268 --> 01:02:33,070 That's a powerful drink. 1148 01:02:33,137 --> 01:02:34,671 There's an old Tahitian saying-- 1149 01:02:34,738 --> 01:02:38,208 "okka noku pama talla peeno pulla okka." 1150 01:02:38,275 --> 01:02:41,078 Oh. Just what did that old Tahitian mean? 1151 01:02:41,145 --> 01:02:43,580 Who knows? I'm from San Francisco. 1152 01:02:43,647 --> 01:02:45,082 Loopholes everywhere. 1153 01:02:45,149 --> 01:02:47,584 Your booth is ready, Mr. Adams. 1154 01:02:47,651 --> 01:02:49,086 Oh, thank you. 1155 01:02:49,153 --> 01:02:52,289 Send over a couple scorpion's kisses, then. 1156 01:02:52,356 --> 01:02:53,690 Thank you. 1157 01:02:57,461 --> 01:03:00,230 Just make it the small scorpions. 1158 01:03:08,672 --> 01:03:10,040 You all right? 1159 01:03:10,107 --> 01:03:13,543 I'm fine, but why are you leaning? 1160 01:03:17,181 --> 01:03:18,748 Oh, that's better. 1161 01:03:18,815 --> 01:03:20,750 Now, sit up straight. 1162 01:03:22,686 --> 01:03:24,121 Oh. 1163 01:03:24,188 --> 01:03:26,123 You know, this is really 1164 01:03:26,190 --> 01:03:28,125 a very attractive restaurant. 1165 01:03:28,192 --> 01:03:29,926 You haven't been here before? 1166 01:03:29,993 --> 01:03:33,630 Well, the atmosphere is hardly conducive to business. 1167 01:03:33,697 --> 01:03:35,165 Oh. 1168 01:03:35,232 --> 01:03:38,168 Is that all you discuss at dinner--business? 1169 01:03:38,235 --> 01:03:40,404 That's not what Dolores tells me. 1170 01:03:40,470 --> 01:03:42,439 That's great. That's really great. 1171 01:03:42,506 --> 01:03:45,275 Tom thinks every time he turns his back, 1172 01:03:45,342 --> 01:03:47,844 she's out chasing every other man. 1173 01:03:47,911 --> 01:03:49,146 Dolores loves Tom, 1174 01:03:49,213 --> 01:03:52,149 and you and I could help them. 1175 01:03:52,216 --> 01:03:55,152 There's just a breakdown in their communications. 1176 01:03:55,219 --> 01:03:57,154 Ha ha ha ha! 1177 01:03:57,221 --> 01:03:59,189 What's so amusing? 1178 01:03:59,256 --> 01:04:02,025 Oh, Tom thinks our paradise bachelor is 1179 01:04:02,092 --> 01:04:04,060 such a dangerous man-- 1180 01:04:04,128 --> 01:04:06,996 a satyr running rampant in a harem. 1181 01:04:07,063 --> 01:04:11,034 Now you turn out to be dear Abby in britches. 1182 01:04:29,586 --> 01:04:32,522 Oh, I didn't know you were so talented. 1183 01:04:32,589 --> 01:04:36,059 There are many things you don't know about me. 1184 01:04:36,126 --> 01:04:39,062 I can sail a boat, upholster furniture, 1185 01:04:39,129 --> 01:04:41,064 skin-dive for abalone, 1186 01:04:41,131 --> 01:04:42,599 bake strudel, 1187 01:04:42,666 --> 01:04:46,770 know the names of all 50 states and their capitals, 1188 01:04:46,836 --> 01:04:49,072 and I play a mean piano, 1189 01:04:49,139 --> 01:04:51,208 among other things. 1190 01:04:51,275 --> 01:04:54,110 Let me hear more about the other things. 1191 01:05:12,496 --> 01:05:14,097 Come dance with kuminaw. 1192 01:05:14,164 --> 01:05:16,600 No, honey. You're one bikini late. 1193 01:05:16,666 --> 01:05:19,803 I'd have to take a pill. I couldn't. 1194 01:05:19,869 --> 01:05:21,805 No. It makes me seasick. 1195 01:05:21,871 --> 01:05:23,807 I couldn't. No. I really-- 1196 01:05:23,873 --> 01:05:26,376 I know, but you... 1197 01:06:09,719 --> 01:06:12,656 "It's a strange paradox that the American woman, 1198 01:06:12,722 --> 01:06:14,867 "who lives in a world where the bachelor and the spinster 1199 01:06:14,891 --> 01:06:18,995 "meet disapproval and therefore can be satisfied 1200 01:06:19,062 --> 01:06:20,530 "with nothing but marriage, 1201 01:06:20,597 --> 01:06:23,400 "finds so much discontent, restlessness, and boredom 1202 01:06:23,467 --> 01:06:24,868 "in the marital state. 1203 01:06:24,934 --> 01:06:28,705 Seeking relief from the burdens of domesticity--" 1204 01:06:28,772 --> 01:06:30,440 excuse me, Jack. 1205 01:06:30,507 --> 01:06:33,977 How about if Camille went red, instead of black? 1206 01:06:34,043 --> 01:06:36,513 Leland's crazy about Susan Hayward, and she's a redhead. 1207 01:06:36,580 --> 01:06:39,483 He tells you that so you won't know 1208 01:06:39,549 --> 01:06:42,051 how he feels about Lollobrigida. 1209 01:06:42,118 --> 01:06:43,687 See? Come on. 1210 01:06:43,753 --> 01:06:45,489 Yeah. 1211 01:06:45,555 --> 01:06:47,291 "She exercises much imagination, 1212 01:06:47,357 --> 01:06:48,692 "frequently through group projects 1213 01:06:48,758 --> 01:06:51,895 that will, in some way, stimulate her." 1214 01:06:54,498 --> 01:06:56,366 Larry, is that you, honey? 1215 01:07:00,637 --> 01:07:02,372 Well? 1216 01:07:04,974 --> 01:07:06,209 Take it off. 1217 01:07:06,276 --> 01:07:07,711 Take what off? 1218 01:07:07,777 --> 01:07:10,213 That hideous wig-- Take it off. 1219 01:07:10,280 --> 01:07:14,217 All right. All right, it's not hideous. 1220 01:07:14,284 --> 01:07:16,219 Only, take it off. 1221 01:07:16,286 --> 01:07:18,221 Oh, Larry. 1222 01:07:18,288 --> 01:07:19,923 It isn't. 1223 01:07:19,989 --> 01:07:22,091 It's not a wig. 1224 01:07:22,158 --> 01:07:25,595 You mean you dyed it that color? 1225 01:07:25,662 --> 01:07:27,397 Yes. 1226 01:07:37,807 --> 01:07:40,744 Just wasn't coming up to speed, that's all. 1227 01:07:40,810 --> 01:07:42,946 Hey, where'd you learn electronics? 1228 01:07:43,012 --> 01:07:44,247 It's simple mechanics. 1229 01:07:44,314 --> 01:07:48,051 Now let's see if it will work. 1230 01:07:51,020 --> 01:07:52,556 Well? 1231 01:07:57,494 --> 01:07:59,829 You're doing this for the government? 1232 01:07:59,896 --> 01:08:03,567 They can hardly wait for it to come out. 1233 01:08:04,768 --> 01:08:07,971 Sounds like something a.J. Niles might write. 1234 01:08:08,037 --> 01:08:09,439 Look, I trust you. 1235 01:08:09,506 --> 01:08:11,775 I can tell you the truth. 1236 01:08:11,841 --> 01:08:14,978 Mr. palfrey came up with this idea. 1237 01:08:15,044 --> 01:08:16,413 What idea? 1238 01:08:16,480 --> 01:08:19,483 A book like Niles', only about America. 1239 01:08:19,549 --> 01:08:22,519 Palfrey thinks there's a mint in it. 1240 01:08:22,586 --> 01:08:24,320 Where's the government come in? 1241 01:08:24,388 --> 01:08:27,256 They're waiting for the mint. 1242 01:08:27,323 --> 01:08:28,558 Oh. 1243 01:08:30,860 --> 01:08:33,997 Know something? This is better than a.J. Niles. 1244 01:08:34,063 --> 01:08:35,665 Thank you. 1245 01:08:37,401 --> 01:08:39,335 What are you doing? 1246 01:08:39,403 --> 01:08:42,338 Taking it to the office to transcribe it. 1247 01:08:42,406 --> 01:08:44,641 It's quiet here. We can concentrate. 1248 01:08:44,708 --> 01:08:46,576 That's what I'm afraid of. 1249 01:08:46,643 --> 01:08:49,446 Afraid? I'm a pussycat. 1250 01:08:49,513 --> 01:08:51,448 From the gossip around here, 1251 01:08:51,515 --> 01:08:52,749 you're a tomcat. 1252 01:08:52,816 --> 01:08:55,318 Me? You, of all people, know-- 1253 01:08:55,385 --> 01:08:57,320 look, there's been enough talk. 1254 01:08:57,387 --> 01:08:59,322 Why give them more fuel? 1255 01:08:59,389 --> 01:09:01,324 Every husband's talking about you. 1256 01:09:01,391 --> 01:09:04,360 Sure you don't want them talking about you? 1257 01:09:04,428 --> 01:09:06,863 They've already talked about me, Dolores, 1258 01:09:06,930 --> 01:09:08,364 and every other woman. 1259 01:09:08,432 --> 01:09:10,567 Aristotle said the high-minded man 1260 01:09:10,634 --> 01:09:12,101 is more interested in the truth 1261 01:09:12,168 --> 01:09:14,103 than in what people believe. 1262 01:09:14,170 --> 01:09:15,872 Are you so high-minded? 1263 01:09:15,939 --> 01:09:17,841 My behavior's been most exemplary. 1264 01:09:17,907 --> 01:09:21,044 Do you realize I haven't even been kissed 1265 01:09:21,110 --> 01:09:22,579 since I moved in? 1266 01:09:22,646 --> 01:09:25,582 No? I mean, no, I didn't realize. 1267 01:09:25,649 --> 01:09:27,917 It's a record, for me. 1268 01:09:29,252 --> 01:09:31,187 Oh, Rosemary, I'm sorry. 1269 01:09:31,254 --> 01:09:33,690 That's all right. I was leaving. 1270 01:09:33,757 --> 01:09:34,658 You were? 1271 01:09:34,724 --> 01:09:36,660 I shouldn't have burst in, 1272 01:09:36,726 --> 01:09:38,495 but it's an emergency. 1273 01:09:38,562 --> 01:09:41,698 What have you done to your hair? 1274 01:09:41,765 --> 01:09:42,765 You see? 1275 01:09:42,799 --> 01:09:44,868 Larry's tone was positively menacing. 1276 01:09:44,934 --> 01:09:46,670 He walked out on me. 1277 01:09:46,736 --> 01:09:49,673 He says he's going to get drunk. 1278 01:09:49,739 --> 01:09:51,675 That might be an improvement. 1279 01:09:51,741 --> 01:09:54,878 But I promised Donna to come over tonight. 1280 01:09:54,944 --> 01:09:56,379 Go without him. 1281 01:09:56,446 --> 01:09:57,947 Leave the boys? 1282 01:09:58,014 --> 01:10:01,518 Donna's my sister. I can't tell her Larry walked out. 1283 01:10:01,585 --> 01:10:03,052 You know how families are. 1284 01:10:03,119 --> 01:10:06,523 Why don't you stay with the boys? 1285 01:10:06,590 --> 01:10:08,224 Me baby-sit? 1286 01:10:08,291 --> 01:10:09,526 You started it. 1287 01:10:09,593 --> 01:10:11,528 So will you help me? 1288 01:10:11,595 --> 01:10:14,531 The kids are asleep. There's nothing to do. 1289 01:10:14,598 --> 01:10:17,033 You can stay here and work. 1290 01:10:17,100 --> 01:10:20,236 Well, I guess there's nothing wrong with that. 1291 01:10:20,303 --> 01:10:22,839 Oh, Jack. Mmm! You're a Saint. 1292 01:10:24,474 --> 01:10:26,710 There goes my record. 1293 01:10:29,613 --> 01:10:31,548 "What young parents without help 1294 01:10:31,615 --> 01:10:34,618 "did before there were baby-sitters is unclear. 1295 01:10:34,684 --> 01:10:37,253 There's no evidence to--" 1296 01:10:37,320 --> 01:10:39,255 you're supposed to be asleep. 1297 01:10:39,322 --> 01:10:40,657 I'm hungry. 1298 01:10:40,724 --> 01:10:43,259 What can I get for you? 1299 01:10:43,326 --> 01:10:44,728 A sammich. 1300 01:10:44,794 --> 01:10:46,229 What kind of sammich? 1301 01:10:46,295 --> 01:10:48,665 A pickle and peanut butter sammich. 1302 01:10:48,732 --> 01:10:50,867 Pickle and peanut butter. 1303 01:10:52,669 --> 01:10:55,004 Not interested in growing up, huh? 1304 01:10:56,339 --> 01:10:58,274 See? You woke your brother. 1305 01:10:58,341 --> 01:11:01,277 No, I didn't. He woke hisself up. 1306 01:11:01,344 --> 01:11:02,879 Shh. 1307 01:11:07,350 --> 01:11:09,586 Well... 1308 01:11:09,653 --> 01:11:12,589 Well, how long you in for, Stevie? 1309 01:11:12,656 --> 01:11:14,591 I'm Stevie! 1310 01:11:14,658 --> 01:11:16,793 He's Dougie! 1311 01:11:16,860 --> 01:11:18,294 Oh, oh. 1312 01:11:18,361 --> 01:11:21,297 Well, come on. Let me spring you. 1313 01:11:21,364 --> 01:11:23,299 Come on, doll. Come on. 1314 01:11:23,366 --> 01:11:25,602 You don't have to cry. You-- 1315 01:11:25,669 --> 01:11:28,738 uh-oh. High tide. 1316 01:11:36,279 --> 01:11:37,614 Aw! 1317 01:11:58,401 --> 01:11:59,636 Why, Larry. 1318 01:11:59,703 --> 01:12:01,337 Where's Adams? 1319 01:12:01,404 --> 01:12:02,639 He's not here. 1320 01:12:02,706 --> 01:12:04,273 Don't kid me. 1321 01:12:04,340 --> 01:12:06,342 You women are all alike. 1322 01:12:06,409 --> 01:12:08,277 Stick up for him. 1323 01:12:08,344 --> 01:12:11,347 What's he got, anyway? And where is he? 1324 01:12:11,414 --> 01:12:13,149 As a matter of fact, 1325 01:12:13,216 --> 01:12:16,352 he's performing a duty you have neglected. 1326 01:12:17,587 --> 01:12:18,822 I catch you, 1327 01:12:18,888 --> 01:12:21,758 and you try to wriggle out of it 1328 01:12:21,825 --> 01:12:25,028 by accusing my wife of unbecoming conduct? 1329 01:12:25,094 --> 01:12:26,195 I'm not-- 1330 01:12:26,262 --> 01:12:27,363 Rosemary-- 1331 01:12:27,430 --> 01:12:29,032 so there you are! 1332 01:12:30,433 --> 01:12:32,969 You're just as bad as he is--worse! 1333 01:12:33,036 --> 01:12:37,373 Trying to make me suspect my wife when it's you 1334 01:12:37,440 --> 01:12:39,375 who've been hanky-pankying around 1335 01:12:39,442 --> 01:12:40,744 with this... 1336 01:12:40,810 --> 01:12:42,679 This bachelor! 1337 01:12:45,448 --> 01:12:47,383 Ha ha ha ha! 1338 01:12:47,450 --> 01:12:48,718 Well, he's drunk. 1339 01:12:48,785 --> 01:12:51,187 He can change the kid's diapers. 1340 01:12:51,254 --> 01:12:54,223 Doubt it. He's headed in the other direction. 1341 01:12:54,290 --> 01:12:55,391 Help me. 1342 01:12:55,458 --> 01:12:57,560 I know nothing about this stuff. 1343 01:12:57,627 --> 01:12:59,395 You think I do? 1344 01:12:59,462 --> 01:13:00,697 You're a woman. 1345 01:13:00,764 --> 01:13:02,699 Gender's no license for knowledge. 1346 01:13:02,766 --> 01:13:05,401 After your remarks on that tape-- 1347 01:13:05,468 --> 01:13:06,870 we'll discuss that later. 1348 01:13:06,936 --> 01:13:08,672 There's a waterlogged kid 1349 01:13:08,738 --> 01:13:11,074 going down for the third time. 1350 01:13:11,140 --> 01:13:12,341 Help me. 1351 01:13:17,947 --> 01:13:21,584 Does the board of health know about this place? 1352 01:13:21,651 --> 01:13:22,886 What are you doing? 1353 01:13:22,952 --> 01:13:25,088 Fixing a sammich for Dougie. 1354 01:13:25,154 --> 01:13:26,589 Where is he? 1355 01:13:26,656 --> 01:13:28,024 Under the table. 1356 01:13:28,091 --> 01:13:29,358 Hey! 1357 01:13:29,425 --> 01:13:31,861 Hey, come on out of there. 1358 01:13:31,928 --> 01:13:34,063 What happened to your diaper? 1359 01:13:34,130 --> 01:13:35,364 They slitched off. 1360 01:13:35,431 --> 01:13:37,366 Here, let me take him. 1361 01:13:37,433 --> 01:13:39,168 Oh...Boy. 1362 01:13:39,235 --> 01:13:43,139 With this kid, Linda doesn't need a garbage grinder. 1363 01:13:47,143 --> 01:13:48,177 Here we are. 1364 01:13:48,244 --> 01:13:51,380 There. You go get some dry diapers. 1365 01:13:51,447 --> 01:13:53,382 Shouldn't you powder him first? 1366 01:13:53,449 --> 01:13:55,184 No. You oil them first. 1367 01:13:55,251 --> 01:13:58,054 This kid hasn't done a thousand miles yet. 1368 01:13:58,121 --> 01:14:01,190 You do it, and I'll get the diapers. 1369 01:14:01,257 --> 01:14:04,327 And I'll put Stevie in the other bedroom. 1370 01:14:11,167 --> 01:14:12,401 Isn't that good? 1371 01:14:12,468 --> 01:14:14,037 Is that refreshing? 1372 01:14:17,807 --> 01:14:19,408 Here you are. 1373 01:14:19,475 --> 01:14:21,044 Ahh! 1374 01:14:24,480 --> 01:14:26,716 You're the sweetest smelling. 1375 01:14:34,724 --> 01:14:36,559 That's all right, baby. 1376 01:14:36,625 --> 01:14:39,328 If she wants to dye her hair, 1377 01:14:39,395 --> 01:14:41,130 what's the big deal, anyway? 1378 01:14:41,197 --> 01:14:43,967 What do you say we go tell her, 1379 01:14:44,033 --> 01:14:45,668 old uncle John, O.K.? 1380 01:14:48,204 --> 01:14:49,238 Not enough oil. 1381 01:14:49,305 --> 01:14:51,941 I couldn't find the diapers, but-- 1382 01:14:52,008 --> 01:14:53,943 what are you doing? 1383 01:14:54,010 --> 01:14:56,946 Well...Let's face it. I'm a lousy mother. 1384 01:14:57,013 --> 01:14:59,148 Oh, go get another towel. 1385 01:14:59,215 --> 01:15:01,217 I'll clean him up. 1386 01:15:01,284 --> 01:15:02,451 Oh, Dougie. 1387 01:15:02,518 --> 01:15:04,220 Ooh! 1388 01:15:04,287 --> 01:15:05,321 Yeah, wait. 1389 01:15:05,388 --> 01:15:09,092 Come on. Let's sit you up. Let's sit up. 1390 01:15:15,865 --> 01:15:17,767 How about this one? 1391 01:15:17,834 --> 01:15:19,635 Give me one for here. 1392 01:15:19,702 --> 01:15:20,937 Yeah. 1393 01:15:21,004 --> 01:15:23,940 Well, I think that should do it. 1394 01:15:24,007 --> 01:15:25,942 Well, come on. There, huh? 1395 01:15:26,009 --> 01:15:28,344 He'll never get out of that 1396 01:15:28,411 --> 01:15:31,480 unless he has friends on the outside. 1397 01:15:37,553 --> 01:15:39,255 Mrs. Delavane! 1398 01:15:42,258 --> 01:15:43,326 Mrs. Delavane! 1399 01:15:43,392 --> 01:15:44,493 Aha! 1400 01:15:44,560 --> 01:15:45,661 Aha what? 1401 01:15:45,728 --> 01:15:47,831 You are in my house. 1402 01:15:47,897 --> 01:15:49,833 Miss Howard wasn't lying 1403 01:15:49,899 --> 01:15:51,835 about you and Linda. 1404 01:15:51,901 --> 01:15:53,336 Oh, stop it. 1405 01:15:53,402 --> 01:15:54,838 Put 'em up. 1406 01:15:54,904 --> 01:15:58,074 I couldn't go two rounds with your breath. 1407 01:16:00,076 --> 01:16:02,278 I won the first fall. 1408 01:16:02,345 --> 01:16:03,813 Quiet, you two. 1409 01:16:03,880 --> 01:16:07,383 Oh! My wife isn't good enough for you, huh? 1410 01:16:07,450 --> 01:16:10,453 You got to have another woman, too. 1411 01:16:12,021 --> 01:16:14,958 Well, there's another one to put to bed. 1412 01:16:15,024 --> 01:16:17,360 Yeah, but he's already oiled. 1413 01:16:19,162 --> 01:16:21,397 "Causing unrest and disharmony, 1414 01:16:21,464 --> 01:16:24,267 "apart from entertaining married and unmarried women 1415 01:16:24,333 --> 01:16:26,970 "in flagrant violation of all standards 1416 01:16:27,036 --> 01:16:28,972 "of decency and morality. 1417 01:16:29,038 --> 01:16:30,974 "The undersigned therefore demand 1418 01:16:31,040 --> 01:16:32,976 "that paradise village, incorporated, 1419 01:16:33,042 --> 01:16:35,979 remove the above-named undesirable tenant immediately." 1420 01:16:36,045 --> 01:16:39,482 And it's signed by every husband on Katherina street. 1421 01:16:39,548 --> 01:16:41,985 But not one of their wives. 1422 01:16:42,051 --> 01:16:45,488 Don't tell me he's gotten to you, too, Rosemary. 1423 01:16:45,554 --> 01:16:47,090 You don't believe that rot! 1424 01:16:47,156 --> 01:16:49,025 These gentlemen believe it. 1425 01:16:49,092 --> 01:16:51,227 Aristotle said the high-minded man 1426 01:16:51,294 --> 01:16:53,062 is interested in the truth, 1427 01:16:53,129 --> 01:16:54,297 not in what people believe. 1428 01:16:54,363 --> 01:16:56,299 Aristotle doesn't live in paradise, 1429 01:16:56,365 --> 01:17:00,503 and I won't antagonize the people who do. 1430 01:17:00,569 --> 01:17:05,341 Rosemary, I want Jack Adams out of your house. 1431 01:17:05,408 --> 01:17:06,442 No, Tom. 1432 01:17:06,509 --> 01:17:07,643 I won't put him out, 1433 01:17:07,710 --> 01:17:08,878 not for you or anybody. 1434 01:17:08,945 --> 01:17:11,480 Are you disobeying me? 1435 01:17:11,547 --> 01:17:14,083 This is not the marine corps, major Jynson. 1436 01:17:14,150 --> 01:17:18,387 No. This is paradise, and I'm in command. 1437 01:17:18,454 --> 01:17:21,557 You will do what I say, or you're through-- 1438 01:17:21,624 --> 01:17:22,992 fired. 1439 01:17:23,059 --> 01:17:24,627 I'm sorry, Tom. 1440 01:17:26,395 --> 01:17:28,097 Truly sorry! 1441 01:17:38,942 --> 01:17:40,376 Well, come in. 1442 01:17:40,443 --> 01:17:42,178 You're a little early. 1443 01:17:42,245 --> 01:17:45,081 How would you like a full-time secretary? 1444 01:17:45,148 --> 01:17:48,017 What red-blooded American boy wouldn't? What happened? 1445 01:17:48,084 --> 01:17:50,019 I'm no longer an employee 1446 01:17:50,086 --> 01:17:51,887 of paradise village, inc. 1447 01:17:51,955 --> 01:17:53,289 You quit? 1448 01:17:53,356 --> 01:17:56,692 I won't work for any man after he fires me. 1449 01:17:56,759 --> 01:18:00,029 I admire your spirit, among other things. What happened? 1450 01:18:00,096 --> 01:18:03,032 A matter of business policy. We didn't agree. 1451 01:18:03,099 --> 01:18:04,968 We don't always agree, either, 1452 01:18:05,034 --> 01:18:07,937 but I need you to help with research. 1453 01:18:08,004 --> 01:18:09,705 What kind of research? 1454 01:18:09,772 --> 01:18:13,042 Don't worry. I'll push your desk against the wall. 1455 01:18:13,109 --> 01:18:16,379 I couldn't chase you around it if I wanted. 1456 01:18:16,445 --> 01:18:19,915 Just don't ask me to stay after working hours. 1457 01:18:19,983 --> 01:18:21,017 Agreed? 1458 01:18:21,084 --> 01:18:22,751 Agreed, under protest. 1459 01:18:22,818 --> 01:18:24,053 Let me see. 1460 01:18:24,120 --> 01:18:26,655 You'll be my landlady and secretary. 1461 01:18:26,722 --> 01:18:28,891 I'll be your tenant and boss. 1462 01:18:28,958 --> 01:18:30,559 A very involved relationship. 1463 01:18:30,626 --> 01:18:33,896 If you raise my rent, I'll lower your salary. 1464 01:18:33,963 --> 01:18:36,632 You lower my salary, I'll raise my voice. 1465 01:18:36,699 --> 01:18:40,469 ...Comes to the plate with a curve ball. 1466 01:18:40,536 --> 01:18:42,005 Strike. 0 and 1. 1467 01:18:42,071 --> 01:18:43,306 Ripley checking his signs. 1468 01:18:43,372 --> 01:18:45,708 The big right-hander ready again. 1469 01:18:45,774 --> 01:18:47,043 To the plate. 1470 01:18:47,110 --> 01:18:49,078 Palufski swings, gets ahold of it. 1471 01:18:49,145 --> 01:18:51,747 Long drive to deep left-center. 1472 01:18:51,814 --> 01:18:54,083 Back goes smitty, a-way back, 1473 01:18:54,150 --> 01:18:55,651 and she is gone. 1474 01:18:55,718 --> 01:18:59,188 It's a brand-new ball game-- 3 and 3. 1475 01:18:59,255 --> 01:19:02,191 Before the biggest crowd of the year-- 1476 01:19:02,258 --> 01:19:04,260 75,000 here at the stadium-- 1477 01:19:04,327 --> 01:19:07,763 the bears have come back in the seventh to tie. 1478 01:19:07,830 --> 01:19:11,734 For palufski, his 17th home run of the year 1479 01:19:11,800 --> 01:19:13,269 and his 51st rbi. 1480 01:19:13,336 --> 01:19:16,039 Now let's find out if Dillon's coming up. 1481 01:19:16,105 --> 01:19:17,740 Jerry, is that Dillon? 1482 01:19:17,806 --> 01:19:19,275 No. That's Monty Brice. 1483 01:19:19,342 --> 01:19:22,345 Monty Brice is hitting .287 this season. 1484 01:19:22,411 --> 01:19:26,849 Never mind Monty Brice. Take a note. 1485 01:19:26,915 --> 01:19:28,251 "Americans are so accustomed 1486 01:19:28,317 --> 01:19:29,485 "to being told everything, 1487 01:19:29,552 --> 01:19:31,287 "even at ball games, 1488 01:19:31,354 --> 01:19:32,888 "they bring their radios 1489 01:19:32,955 --> 01:19:34,557 "so the announcer can explain 1490 01:19:34,623 --> 01:19:36,859 what they're seeing." 1491 01:19:36,925 --> 01:19:39,228 And the fast ball fouled away. 1492 01:19:39,295 --> 01:19:42,298 Our guess would be about 75,000 people here. 1493 01:19:42,365 --> 01:19:44,800 I wonder what idiot caught that. 1494 01:19:44,867 --> 01:19:48,171 They would have torn the roof off for sure 1495 01:19:48,237 --> 01:19:51,340 on the home run by palufski. 1496 01:20:16,765 --> 01:20:20,336 They say 20 million American women have taken this up. 1497 01:20:20,403 --> 01:20:23,472 Sure. To get rid of their aggressions. 1498 01:20:28,177 --> 01:20:29,812 Yeah. 1499 01:20:29,878 --> 01:20:31,414 Oh, yes. 1500 01:20:34,117 --> 01:20:36,051 You know, those aren't pins. 1501 01:20:36,119 --> 01:20:38,654 Those are 20 million American men. 1502 01:20:48,131 --> 01:20:50,065 The cleaners returned your suit. 1503 01:20:50,133 --> 01:20:52,368 I hung it in the closet. 1504 01:20:52,435 --> 01:20:56,071 And I brought your shirts. They're in the drawer. 1505 01:20:56,139 --> 01:20:58,874 You don't have to do my shirts. 1506 01:20:58,941 --> 01:21:00,843 The laundry puts a razor edge on the collars. 1507 01:21:00,909 --> 01:21:05,013 I don't want my boss decapitated. 1508 01:21:07,950 --> 01:21:11,587 Hey, you worried about your boss or your tenant? 1509 01:21:11,654 --> 01:21:12,921 Jack, please. 1510 01:21:12,988 --> 01:21:16,392 It's time you acknowledge men and women are different. 1511 01:21:16,459 --> 01:21:18,394 This arrangement is difficult enough. 1512 01:21:18,461 --> 01:21:20,396 Don't make it impossible. 1513 01:21:20,463 --> 01:21:23,399 I want to make it very possible. 1514 01:21:23,466 --> 01:21:26,402 A little cooperation, and it could be fun. 1515 01:21:26,469 --> 01:21:29,605 No woman really wants to make love platonically, 1516 01:21:29,672 --> 01:21:31,106 just for fun. 1517 01:21:31,174 --> 01:21:33,409 Then I've met some great pretenders. 1518 01:21:33,476 --> 01:21:36,245 I'm sure many women have fallen for you. 1519 01:21:36,312 --> 01:21:37,946 If they have, 1520 01:21:38,013 --> 01:21:39,948 they wanted something more than... 1521 01:21:40,015 --> 01:21:41,617 Well, merely an affair. 1522 01:21:41,684 --> 01:21:43,152 For instance? 1523 01:21:43,219 --> 01:21:45,854 Oh, a home, security, 1524 01:21:45,921 --> 01:21:47,122 permanence. 1525 01:21:47,190 --> 01:21:49,124 A wise man once wrote 1526 01:21:49,192 --> 01:21:51,294 that a man wants to be a woman's first love, 1527 01:21:51,360 --> 01:21:53,729 but women have a more subtle instinct. 1528 01:21:53,796 --> 01:21:57,633 They want to be sure they're a man's last. 1529 01:21:57,700 --> 01:21:59,268 Let's eat. 1530 01:22:02,037 --> 01:22:03,472 Jack... 1531 01:22:03,539 --> 01:22:04,607 Hmm? 1532 01:22:04,673 --> 01:22:07,610 Have you been a bachelor all your life? 1533 01:22:07,676 --> 01:22:10,513 I was engaged at the age of seven, 1534 01:22:10,579 --> 01:22:13,482 but love's pangs turned out to be measles. 1535 01:22:15,218 --> 01:22:17,152 Silly. Then there's a chance 1536 01:22:17,220 --> 01:22:19,322 that some poor girl may marry you? 1537 01:22:19,388 --> 01:22:23,058 A rich girl would have a better chance. 1538 01:22:23,125 --> 01:22:24,727 Have you ever been in love? 1539 01:22:24,793 --> 01:22:26,895 Never. Have you? 1540 01:22:26,962 --> 01:22:29,865 Once...I thought. 1541 01:22:29,932 --> 01:22:31,867 No. I take that back. 1542 01:22:31,934 --> 01:22:33,168 I really was. 1543 01:22:33,236 --> 01:22:35,037 What makes you sure? 1544 01:22:35,103 --> 01:22:37,172 What makes you sure you never were? 1545 01:22:37,240 --> 01:22:38,741 I planned it that way. 1546 01:22:38,807 --> 01:22:44,046 My smart father prepared me for life with splendid advice. 1547 01:22:44,112 --> 01:22:45,648 Care to share it? 1548 01:22:45,714 --> 01:22:50,018 "Be careful of what you put your heart and money into." 1549 01:22:50,085 --> 01:22:52,020 Your father told you that? 1550 01:22:52,087 --> 01:22:54,390 Right after my mom told it to him. 1551 01:22:54,457 --> 01:22:56,892 Ha ha ha! That's funny. 1552 01:23:00,796 --> 01:23:02,030 Hi. 1553 01:23:02,097 --> 01:23:03,165 Oh, hi. 1554 01:23:03,232 --> 01:23:04,333 Where's Rosemary? 1555 01:23:04,400 --> 01:23:06,302 She's gone. It's after 6:00. 1556 01:23:06,369 --> 01:23:10,539 I wanted to talk to you alone. It's about Larry. 1557 01:23:10,606 --> 01:23:13,208 He hasn't said a word for days. 1558 01:23:13,276 --> 01:23:15,210 You've dyed your hair back, haven't you? 1559 01:23:15,278 --> 01:23:16,912 But he's still suspicious. 1560 01:23:16,979 --> 01:23:18,414 Of me? 1561 01:23:18,481 --> 01:23:20,283 It's your reputation, Jack. 1562 01:23:20,349 --> 01:23:22,050 Everybody thinks that-- 1563 01:23:22,117 --> 01:23:23,752 thinks what? 1564 01:23:23,819 --> 01:23:26,054 That you're having affairs with all of us-- 1565 01:23:26,121 --> 01:23:28,123 me, Camille, Dolores, Rosemary! 1566 01:23:28,190 --> 01:23:31,760 Really? That should qualify me for the Olympic team. 1567 01:23:31,827 --> 01:23:33,061 Don't joke about it. 1568 01:23:33,128 --> 01:23:34,630 They've written everything down. 1569 01:23:34,697 --> 01:23:36,599 Good. We'll make an Italian movie from it. 1570 01:23:36,665 --> 01:23:38,901 They even sent in that petition. 1571 01:23:38,967 --> 01:23:40,002 What petition? 1572 01:23:40,068 --> 01:23:42,305 To Tom Jynson, to have you evicted, 1573 01:23:42,371 --> 01:23:44,273 only Rosemary wouldn't do it. 1574 01:23:44,340 --> 01:23:45,674 Are you sure? 1575 01:23:45,741 --> 01:23:49,578 Positive. Leland Quinlaw and my Larry started it. 1576 01:23:49,645 --> 01:23:52,681 All the husbands signed it, and... 1577 01:23:53,849 --> 01:23:55,083 What's that? 1578 01:23:55,150 --> 01:23:56,785 Something's burning. 1579 01:23:56,852 --> 01:23:58,854 It's the oven. 1580 01:24:05,894 --> 01:24:08,497 My ready-mix cake. 1581 01:24:08,564 --> 01:24:09,765 Ha ha! 1582 01:24:09,832 --> 01:24:12,301 Hope smoky the bear doesn't hear about this. 1583 01:24:13,302 --> 01:24:14,637 Jack! 1584 01:24:15,771 --> 01:24:16,771 Jack? 1585 01:24:16,805 --> 01:24:19,808 Out here! 1586 01:24:19,875 --> 01:24:21,043 What's so urgent? 1587 01:24:21,109 --> 01:24:24,613 Sit down, Rosemary. I want to ask you something. 1588 01:24:24,680 --> 01:24:26,315 Why couldn't you ask me on the phone? 1589 01:24:26,382 --> 01:24:30,753 I want to see your face when you answer. 1590 01:24:30,819 --> 01:24:33,322 This isn't the first time you've tried to protect me, 1591 01:24:33,389 --> 01:24:35,023 and I'm touched, 1592 01:24:35,090 --> 01:24:38,627 but you should have told me about the petition. 1593 01:24:38,694 --> 01:24:40,329 What good would it have done? 1594 01:24:40,396 --> 01:24:43,866 I could have spared everyone 1595 01:24:43,932 --> 01:24:45,901 by moving out. 1596 01:24:45,968 --> 01:24:47,370 Leaving paradise? 1597 01:24:47,436 --> 01:24:50,072 I should think you'd be glad to get rid of me. 1598 01:24:50,138 --> 01:24:53,776 No. What about your book? 1599 01:24:53,842 --> 01:24:58,414 I've got enough material for six books if I want. 1600 01:24:58,481 --> 01:24:59,948 Oh, Jack, please. 1601 01:25:00,015 --> 01:25:03,151 I just don't want to get hopelessly involved. 1602 01:25:03,218 --> 01:25:05,354 You're a little late. You already are. 1603 01:25:05,421 --> 01:25:07,055 So am I. 1604 01:25:07,122 --> 01:25:08,491 Why don't you come with me? 1605 01:25:08,557 --> 01:25:10,292 With you? Where? 1606 01:25:10,359 --> 01:25:13,596 Anywhere. I need you, and you need me. 1607 01:25:13,662 --> 01:25:15,964 We both lived alone long enough. 1608 01:25:16,031 --> 01:25:17,500 What's the advantage? 1609 01:25:17,566 --> 01:25:19,535 Toothpaste lasts twice as long. 1610 01:25:19,602 --> 01:25:22,371 That's all you can say for it. 1611 01:25:22,438 --> 01:25:24,239 There's just one problem, 1612 01:25:24,306 --> 01:25:26,442 a matter of social convention. 1613 01:25:26,509 --> 01:25:29,111 I can't ask you to marry me. 1614 01:25:29,177 --> 01:25:32,014 We understand each other. Why complicate things? 1615 01:25:32,080 --> 01:25:33,348 We can't. 1616 01:25:33,416 --> 01:25:36,184 I can't, not this way. 1617 01:25:36,251 --> 01:25:38,286 I found that out a long time ago. 1618 01:25:38,353 --> 01:25:39,455 This is different, darling. 1619 01:25:39,522 --> 01:25:42,691 We're both being completely honest. 1620 01:25:42,758 --> 01:25:47,195 Which means you don't want to ask me to marry you. 1621 01:25:47,262 --> 01:25:48,897 I haven't the nerve. 1622 01:25:48,964 --> 01:25:50,699 I'd be a real heel. 1623 01:25:50,766 --> 01:25:54,002 You know what you'd be getting for a husband? 1624 01:25:54,069 --> 01:25:57,840 A man who's been a bachelor all his life, 1625 01:25:57,906 --> 01:26:00,743 a gypsy who's never had a permanent home 1626 01:26:00,809 --> 01:26:04,980 since he was a kid and the pool room burned down. 1627 01:26:05,047 --> 01:26:07,349 A man who's not only broke, 1628 01:26:07,416 --> 01:26:09,485 but in hock to the government. 1629 01:26:09,552 --> 01:26:12,354 Is that the man you want to marry? 1630 01:26:12,421 --> 01:26:16,659 I don't know if I want to marry anyone. 1631 01:26:16,725 --> 01:26:20,028 Then it's a stand-off. 1632 01:26:20,095 --> 01:26:22,898 But I do know one thing. 1633 01:26:22,965 --> 01:26:25,000 I know. 1634 01:26:29,037 --> 01:26:30,037 Pardon me. 1635 01:26:30,072 --> 01:26:32,575 I'll kill whoever it is and be right back. 1636 01:26:40,415 --> 01:26:41,450 Hello. 1637 01:26:41,517 --> 01:26:43,151 Yes, operator. Speaking. 1638 01:26:43,218 --> 01:26:44,820 Wait! Rosemary! 1639 01:26:44,887 --> 01:26:46,121 Don't go! 1640 01:26:46,188 --> 01:26:47,422 I-- 1641 01:26:47,490 --> 01:26:50,058 yeah? Who? 1642 01:26:50,125 --> 01:26:51,760 Austin palfrey, dear lad. 1643 01:26:51,827 --> 01:26:55,898 Can you be at the L.A. airport by midnight? 1644 01:26:55,964 --> 01:26:58,567 I've wired you a ticket for the midnight jet. 1645 01:26:58,634 --> 01:27:01,504 You're to be in Washington first thing tomorrow. 1646 01:27:01,570 --> 01:27:02,771 No, Rosemary. 1647 01:27:02,838 --> 01:27:04,607 I haven't seen Jack since yesterday. 1648 01:27:04,673 --> 01:27:07,175 I did hear his phone ring. 1649 01:27:07,242 --> 01:27:08,242 Was that you? 1650 01:27:08,276 --> 01:27:10,979 Dougie, spit that out! 1651 01:27:11,046 --> 01:27:12,715 What, Rosemary? 1652 01:27:12,781 --> 01:27:15,651 No. His car's not here, either. 1653 01:27:15,718 --> 01:27:18,086 Look, honey, I've got to run. 1654 01:27:18,153 --> 01:27:20,856 Dougie's eating a ball-point pen. 1655 01:27:20,923 --> 01:27:22,457 Dougie! 1656 01:27:23,325 --> 01:27:24,560 Jack? 1657 01:27:36,872 --> 01:27:39,542 Darling-- That's you, Rosemary-- 1658 01:27:39,608 --> 01:27:41,409 I had to leave. 1659 01:27:41,476 --> 01:27:44,212 Keep this machine to remember me by. 1660 01:27:44,279 --> 01:27:46,882 I hope you'll be as lonesome and miserable without me 1661 01:27:46,949 --> 01:27:49,885 as I have been every evening when you left. 1662 01:27:55,457 --> 01:27:57,092 There you are, Mr. Niles. 1663 01:27:57,159 --> 01:28:00,362 Except for $1,000 or so, it's all there. 1664 01:28:00,428 --> 01:28:01,428 What's all there? 1665 01:28:01,463 --> 01:28:02,497 Your money, dear lad. 1666 01:28:02,565 --> 01:28:05,267 The cash, stocks, and bonds. 1667 01:28:05,333 --> 01:28:06,735 You found Wappinger? 1668 01:28:06,802 --> 01:28:08,737 Boarding a plane in Mexico City. 1669 01:28:08,804 --> 01:28:11,707 That's great. Thank you, gentlemen. 1670 01:28:11,774 --> 01:28:14,509 You'll have to sign a complaint against him, Mr. Niles. 1671 01:28:14,577 --> 01:28:15,711 I don't think so. 1672 01:28:15,778 --> 01:28:17,913 I'd have to stick around for his trial, 1673 01:28:17,980 --> 01:28:20,115 and there's something about courtrooms-- 1674 01:28:20,182 --> 01:28:23,586 I suppose you're anxious to return to France. 1675 01:28:23,652 --> 01:28:25,588 I'm working on something more domestic. 1676 01:28:25,654 --> 01:28:26,655 Of course-- 1677 01:28:26,722 --> 01:28:29,424 how the Americans live! 1678 01:28:29,491 --> 01:28:31,493 Let the newsreel boys in now. 1679 01:28:31,560 --> 01:28:33,228 We'll start the publicity rolling 1680 01:28:33,295 --> 01:28:36,732 on Adams' next bestseller. 1681 01:28:36,799 --> 01:28:40,168 I've been back in this country for some time--in California, 1682 01:28:40,235 --> 01:28:43,806 in a housing development in the San Fernando valley. 1683 01:28:43,872 --> 01:28:45,741 I've used an assumed name, 1684 01:28:45,808 --> 01:28:48,944 but I've been doing research for my newest book. 1685 01:28:49,011 --> 01:28:50,655 It's based on modern living in this country. 1686 01:28:50,679 --> 01:28:53,548 It's called how the Americans live. 1687 01:28:53,616 --> 01:28:56,051 It's been a fascinating experience. 1688 01:28:56,118 --> 01:28:58,621 I've been amazed at my findings. 1689 01:28:58,687 --> 01:29:00,989 I've found a strong, healthy group 1690 01:29:01,056 --> 01:29:03,058 of hard-working men and women 1691 01:29:03,125 --> 01:29:05,227 who not only are kind and decent, 1692 01:29:05,293 --> 01:29:07,796 but go to extremes to help each other. 1693 01:30:38,586 --> 01:30:40,055 Aah! 1694 01:30:40,122 --> 01:30:41,223 Rosemary. 1695 01:30:41,289 --> 01:30:43,491 Why didn't you tell me you were coming back? 1696 01:30:43,558 --> 01:30:46,328 I didn't know I was going to. 1697 01:30:46,394 --> 01:30:48,463 This is awful. 1698 01:30:48,530 --> 01:30:50,365 It's not bad from here. 1699 01:30:50,432 --> 01:30:51,466 You look alluring, 1700 01:30:51,533 --> 01:30:53,301 and I'm proud of you for one thing. 1701 01:30:53,368 --> 01:30:56,705 You didn't pull the bedclothes up around your neck. 1702 01:30:56,772 --> 01:31:01,209 No need to get up. It's after midnight. 1703 01:31:01,276 --> 01:31:02,577 Oh, now, please. 1704 01:31:02,644 --> 01:31:05,213 You're beautiful with your hair shook up. 1705 01:31:05,280 --> 01:31:08,450 Don't spoil it. You're a picture. 1706 01:31:08,516 --> 01:31:12,220 Your face isn't full of grease like a channel swimmer. 1707 01:31:12,287 --> 01:31:13,889 Let me get up. 1708 01:31:13,956 --> 01:31:16,258 Neither of us planned this. 1709 01:31:16,324 --> 01:31:17,993 It was meant to happen. 1710 01:31:18,060 --> 01:31:19,327 I didn't mean this to happen. 1711 01:31:19,394 --> 01:31:22,931 You're single, female, and in your right mind. 1712 01:31:22,998 --> 01:31:24,566 If you think I'll allow myself 1713 01:31:24,632 --> 01:31:27,702 to become entangled with a.J. Niles-- 1714 01:31:27,770 --> 01:31:28,971 oh, so that's it. 1715 01:31:29,037 --> 01:31:31,406 Everyone knows who you are, Mr. Niles. 1716 01:31:31,473 --> 01:31:34,910 All you-know-what broke loose today. 1717 01:31:34,977 --> 01:31:37,279 You didn't feel this way before I left. 1718 01:31:37,345 --> 01:31:39,447 I'm the same man. 1719 01:31:39,514 --> 01:31:41,516 The same deceitful liar. 1720 01:31:41,583 --> 01:31:44,386 I had to lie, but not anymore. 1721 01:31:44,452 --> 01:31:46,989 A shattering thing happened while I was away. 1722 01:31:47,055 --> 01:31:49,925 For the first time, I miss someone. 1723 01:31:49,992 --> 01:31:52,060 I had to come back. 1724 01:31:52,127 --> 01:31:55,831 Please leave me alone, and get out of here! 1725 01:31:55,898 --> 01:31:59,434 At least now you know the truth. 1726 01:31:59,501 --> 01:32:01,469 You can have the bedroom. 1727 01:32:01,536 --> 01:32:02,670 Your rent is still paid. 1728 01:32:02,737 --> 01:32:04,840 I'll sleep on the couch, 1729 01:32:04,907 --> 01:32:07,209 like the men always do in American movies. 1730 01:32:16,384 --> 01:32:17,820 Ooh! 1731 01:32:17,886 --> 01:32:20,122 Oh, darn him. 1732 01:32:57,759 --> 01:32:58,961 Here. 1733 01:33:42,637 --> 01:33:44,172 Well? 1734 01:33:44,239 --> 01:33:45,107 Well what? 1735 01:33:45,173 --> 01:33:48,743 Aren't you going to brush your teeth? 1736 01:33:48,810 --> 01:33:50,345 Did you come in just to remind me? 1737 01:33:50,412 --> 01:33:55,918 No. I came in to tell you how despicable you are. 1738 01:33:55,984 --> 01:33:57,219 I'm fond of me. 1739 01:33:57,285 --> 01:33:59,021 You're the only one who is, 1740 01:33:59,087 --> 01:34:02,925 but I'm grateful to you for one thing. 1741 01:34:02,991 --> 01:34:05,093 You brought me back to my senses. 1742 01:34:05,160 --> 01:34:08,030 When I thought you had disappeared, I was desolate. 1743 01:34:08,096 --> 01:34:12,667 I was miserable because I lost my nerve and ran out. 1744 01:34:12,734 --> 01:34:14,169 Now that you're back, 1745 01:34:14,236 --> 01:34:17,039 I see what a mistake it would have been. 1746 01:34:17,105 --> 01:34:21,309 I'm not a woman to you. I'm a Guinea pig. 1747 01:34:21,376 --> 01:34:26,381 That's all every female in paradise is to you, a.J. Niles. 1748 01:34:26,448 --> 01:34:27,349 By the same token, 1749 01:34:27,415 --> 01:34:29,217 I owe you a vote of thanks. 1750 01:34:29,284 --> 01:34:32,254 In the euphoria of recovering my loot and my identity, 1751 01:34:32,320 --> 01:34:35,257 I considered proposing to you. 1752 01:34:35,323 --> 01:34:37,392 What a stupid blunder-- 1753 01:34:37,459 --> 01:34:39,928 at my age, 1754 01:34:39,995 --> 01:34:41,964 give up my freedom. 1755 01:34:42,030 --> 01:34:44,632 Thanks for snapping me back to reality. 1756 01:34:44,699 --> 01:34:47,802 I'll be out of your life first thing tomorrow. 1757 01:34:47,869 --> 01:34:48,869 Thank you. 1758 01:34:50,538 --> 01:34:53,108 Who's that? 1759 01:34:53,175 --> 01:34:54,376 Quick. In the bedroom. 1760 01:34:55,243 --> 01:34:57,279 It's too early for the milk. 1761 01:34:58,346 --> 01:34:59,481 Just a minute. 1762 01:35:05,988 --> 01:35:07,389 May I come in? 1763 01:35:07,455 --> 01:35:08,256 No. 1764 01:35:08,323 --> 01:35:09,557 I heard your car drive up. 1765 01:35:09,624 --> 01:35:14,296 I was so excited, Jack. Mr. Niles, I mean. 1766 01:35:14,362 --> 01:35:16,764 We knew you were somebody. 1767 01:35:16,831 --> 01:35:19,201 You just had to be. 1768 01:35:19,267 --> 01:35:20,435 No matter what happens, 1769 01:35:20,502 --> 01:35:22,004 we girls will stick up for you. 1770 01:35:22,070 --> 01:35:23,571 May not be enough, Linda. 1771 01:35:24,906 --> 01:35:27,775 What's that? 1772 01:35:27,842 --> 01:35:29,544 If that's Larry, he'll kill me. 1773 01:35:29,611 --> 01:35:30,378 Hide in the bedroom. 1774 01:35:30,445 --> 01:35:33,281 No! Not there. Second bedroom. 1775 01:35:33,348 --> 01:35:36,584 I knew this house was too small. 1776 01:35:49,097 --> 01:35:50,274 You got to come with me right away. 1777 01:35:50,298 --> 01:35:51,399 Where? 1778 01:35:51,466 --> 01:35:57,605 To my house, before Leland finds out I'm here. 1779 01:35:57,672 --> 01:35:58,712 What are you talking about? 1780 01:35:58,773 --> 01:36:01,543 Ever since Leland found out you're a.J. Niles, 1781 01:36:01,609 --> 01:36:04,112 he thinks we're having-- 1782 01:36:04,179 --> 01:36:06,814 that we're carrying on some kind of a-- 1783 01:36:06,881 --> 01:36:08,950 please! Come clear my name. 1784 01:36:09,017 --> 01:36:10,685 My whole marriage hangs in the balance. 1785 01:36:10,752 --> 01:36:12,054 Stop this drama! 1786 01:36:14,256 --> 01:36:17,825 It's Leland! I got to hide! 1787 01:36:17,892 --> 01:36:21,129 Here. Get right in there. 1788 01:36:21,196 --> 01:36:22,730 Keep breathing. 1789 01:36:30,004 --> 01:36:31,139 Oh, no! 1790 01:36:31,206 --> 01:36:33,007 Adam J. Niles! 1791 01:36:33,075 --> 01:36:34,642 Welcome to grand hotel. 1792 01:36:34,709 --> 01:36:36,644 Why didn't you tell me? 1793 01:36:36,711 --> 01:36:38,146 We could have conducted 1794 01:36:38,213 --> 01:36:39,757 the most marvelous experiments together! 1795 01:36:39,781 --> 01:36:42,784 Look--put that coat back on! 1796 01:36:42,850 --> 01:36:43,785 Where's your tape recorder? 1797 01:36:43,851 --> 01:36:45,320 Let's get to work. 1798 01:36:45,387 --> 01:36:48,456 I want to be in your book! 1799 01:36:48,523 --> 01:36:51,159 Ah! So Mrs. brown was right! 1800 01:36:51,226 --> 01:36:53,161 Wait a minute, Jynson. 1801 01:36:53,228 --> 01:36:56,164 I won't wait a second, you libertine. 1802 01:36:56,231 --> 01:36:58,600 I'll see you in court-- both of you! 1803 01:37:00,835 --> 01:37:02,537 Ooh... 1804 01:37:29,264 --> 01:37:31,099 Linda! What are you doing in there? 1805 01:37:31,166 --> 01:37:32,534 I don't know. 1806 01:37:32,600 --> 01:37:34,702 Come here. You're going to break your neck. 1807 01:37:49,684 --> 01:37:50,618 Wait a minute! 1808 01:37:50,685 --> 01:37:51,419 Aah! 1809 01:37:51,486 --> 01:37:53,888 Shh! They're all coming. 1810 01:37:53,955 --> 01:37:55,590 Over the wall. 1811 01:37:55,657 --> 01:37:57,024 Oh! 1812 01:37:57,091 --> 01:37:58,626 Can you make it? Go on. 1813 01:38:18,413 --> 01:38:20,682 State your name, address, and occupation, please. 1814 01:38:20,748 --> 01:38:23,351 Thomas W. Jynson, presently residing 1815 01:38:23,418 --> 01:38:25,353 in the palm vista hotel. 1816 01:38:25,420 --> 01:38:27,555 I'm the developer of paradise. 1817 01:38:27,622 --> 01:38:28,756 Paradise? 1818 01:38:28,823 --> 01:38:31,359 As I recall, the book of Genesis-- 1819 01:38:31,426 --> 01:38:33,060 paradise village, your honor. 1820 01:38:33,127 --> 01:38:34,462 It's a real-estate development. 1821 01:38:34,529 --> 01:38:36,931 One of the finest housing developments 1822 01:38:36,998 --> 01:38:38,533 in the broad and fertile valley-- 1823 01:38:40,302 --> 01:38:42,204 You won't use this courtroom 1824 01:38:42,270 --> 01:38:45,873 for any advertising purposes. 1825 01:38:45,940 --> 01:38:47,475 Continue. 1826 01:38:47,542 --> 01:38:49,577 Now, Mr. Jynson, isn't it true 1827 01:38:49,644 --> 01:38:52,380 that, most regrettably, you are compelled 1828 01:38:52,447 --> 01:38:55,517 to seek this action against your wife 1829 01:38:55,583 --> 01:38:57,719 after numerous instances of infidelity 1830 01:38:57,785 --> 01:38:59,921 with one a.J. Niles-- 1831 01:38:59,987 --> 01:39:02,023 a man who is known to be-- 1832 01:39:02,089 --> 01:39:03,425 pardon me, your honor-- 1833 01:39:03,491 --> 01:39:05,627 a libertine and a seducer? 1834 01:39:05,693 --> 01:39:07,695 Absolutely. 1835 01:39:07,762 --> 01:39:08,596 Objection! 1836 01:39:08,663 --> 01:39:10,365 We intend to produce evidence 1837 01:39:10,432 --> 01:39:13,034 to prove the statement that Mr. Niles is, 1838 01:39:13,100 --> 01:39:15,036 if you'll pardon the expression, 1839 01:39:15,102 --> 01:39:18,139 a libertine and a seducer. 1840 01:39:20,808 --> 01:39:23,611 Order in the court! 1841 01:39:23,678 --> 01:39:26,348 Yes, I said I wanted to be in his book. 1842 01:39:26,414 --> 01:39:29,351 I wanted to be a whole new chapter. 1843 01:39:29,417 --> 01:39:31,753 I wanted to be a whole new book-- 1844 01:39:31,819 --> 01:39:35,690 how Mrs. Tom cheapskate lives... 1845 01:39:35,757 --> 01:39:36,658 Miserably. 1846 01:39:36,724 --> 01:39:39,060 A.J. Niles filled my wife's head 1847 01:39:39,126 --> 01:39:40,762 with sexy ideas. 1848 01:39:40,828 --> 01:39:42,196 I married that woman 1849 01:39:42,264 --> 01:39:45,400 because I liked her empty-headed. 1850 01:39:45,467 --> 01:39:47,535 I knew there was something going on 1851 01:39:47,602 --> 01:39:49,937 when I saw how my wife wrapped the garbage. 1852 01:39:50,004 --> 01:39:52,106 Nobody wraps garbage like that 1853 01:39:52,173 --> 01:39:54,676 unless there's hanky-panky going on. 1854 01:39:57,645 --> 01:40:00,882 The poor, dear man was always trying to help, 1855 01:40:00,948 --> 01:40:04,652 like when Camille wanted to dye her hair red, 1856 01:40:04,719 --> 01:40:08,856 and Jack--Mr. Niles-- told her that dyed red hair 1857 01:40:08,923 --> 01:40:11,659 looked so phony and... 1858 01:40:14,396 --> 01:40:16,898 Oh! Well... 1859 01:40:16,964 --> 01:40:19,901 Your hair doesn't look like it's dyed, your honor. 1860 01:40:19,967 --> 01:40:24,706 I mean, men can't always be right, can they? 1861 01:40:26,808 --> 01:40:29,744 Your home is directly across the street 1862 01:40:29,811 --> 01:40:32,647 from the house Mr. Niles rented? 1863 01:40:32,714 --> 01:40:33,548 Right smack. 1864 01:40:33,615 --> 01:40:35,750 I've just talked to New York. 1865 01:40:35,817 --> 01:40:40,087 I've had to order a second printing of your book. 1866 01:40:40,154 --> 01:40:42,757 From your observations, Mrs. brown, 1867 01:40:42,824 --> 01:40:46,193 how would you describe Mr. Niles? 1868 01:40:46,260 --> 01:40:47,829 Sex fiend, 1869 01:40:47,895 --> 01:40:49,731 pure and simple. 1870 01:40:52,834 --> 01:40:54,802 Objection! 1871 01:40:54,869 --> 01:40:56,738 Sustained. 1872 01:40:56,804 --> 01:41:01,343 Mrs. brown, that's a very broad and condemning term. 1873 01:41:01,409 --> 01:41:04,412 I don't know how else you'd describe him. 1874 01:41:04,479 --> 01:41:06,948 He has only one thing on his mind. 1875 01:41:09,551 --> 01:41:12,219 Have you ever read his books, madam judge? 1876 01:41:12,286 --> 01:41:13,588 Yes, I have. 1877 01:41:13,655 --> 01:41:16,724 I've also read the books of h.G. Wells, 1878 01:41:16,791 --> 01:41:19,594 but I wouldn't describe him as an astronaut. 1879 01:41:19,661 --> 01:41:22,063 Confine your testimony to factual observations. 1880 01:41:22,129 --> 01:41:24,499 Very well, your honoress. 1881 01:41:24,566 --> 01:41:26,067 Ever since that man 1882 01:41:26,133 --> 01:41:28,736 moved into Rosemary's house... 1883 01:41:28,803 --> 01:41:31,739 Stop trying to make implications, Mr. Backett. 1884 01:41:31,806 --> 01:41:34,742 My relationship with Dolores Jynson was not experimental. 1885 01:41:34,809 --> 01:41:37,945 Then you did find her physically attractive? 1886 01:41:38,012 --> 01:41:40,014 Certainly not. 1887 01:41:40,081 --> 01:41:43,451 Did he have to say that? 1888 01:41:43,518 --> 01:41:45,753 That is, I didn't find her unattractive. 1889 01:41:45,820 --> 01:41:47,254 What I mean is-- 1890 01:41:47,321 --> 01:41:50,858 Mr. Niles, when you've finished debating with yourself, 1891 01:41:50,925 --> 01:41:52,527 will you please answer the question? 1892 01:41:52,594 --> 01:41:54,996 I'm trying to, your honor. 1893 01:41:55,062 --> 01:41:56,197 I found her attractive, 1894 01:41:56,263 --> 01:41:58,900 but that did not motivate my actions. 1895 01:42:00,935 --> 01:42:02,169 Now, Mr. Niles, 1896 01:42:02,236 --> 01:42:04,171 you heard Mr. Jynson testify 1897 01:42:04,238 --> 01:42:06,474 that he saw Mrs. Jynson, 1898 01:42:06,541 --> 01:42:09,276 clad only in a revealing negligee, 1899 01:42:09,343 --> 01:42:12,046 nestled in your arms. 1900 01:42:12,113 --> 01:42:15,249 Would you explain your motivation for that? 1901 01:42:15,316 --> 01:42:16,551 You see, your honor, 1902 01:42:16,618 --> 01:42:18,553 it isn't quite that simple. 1903 01:42:18,620 --> 01:42:20,555 There were three other women 1904 01:42:20,622 --> 01:42:22,990 in the house at the same time. 1905 01:42:23,057 --> 01:42:24,158 Three? 1906 01:42:24,225 --> 01:42:25,259 I didn't plan that. 1907 01:42:25,326 --> 01:42:27,729 I don't go in for group therapy. 1908 01:42:27,795 --> 01:42:29,731 It was one of those hectic nights. 1909 01:42:29,797 --> 01:42:33,000 I can well understand that. 1910 01:42:33,067 --> 01:42:34,301 May I make one statement 1911 01:42:34,368 --> 01:42:36,871 to clarify this situation? 1912 01:42:36,938 --> 01:42:40,608 Clarification would certainly be in order, Mr. Niles. 1913 01:42:40,675 --> 01:42:43,678 There seems to be a public image of a.J. Niles 1914 01:42:43,745 --> 01:42:46,448 as some sort of wandering Casanova, 1915 01:42:46,514 --> 01:42:49,417 to whom the world is a private boudoir. 1916 01:42:49,484 --> 01:42:51,886 In the past, there may have been some justification for this, 1917 01:42:51,953 --> 01:42:53,988 but since I established residence 1918 01:42:54,055 --> 01:42:55,055 at paradise village, 1919 01:42:55,089 --> 01:42:56,858 I'm a different man. 1920 01:42:59,060 --> 01:43:02,363 For the first time, I've been in love-- 1921 01:43:02,430 --> 01:43:04,632 sincerely, deeply in love. 1922 01:43:04,699 --> 01:43:05,833 And because of that, 1923 01:43:05,900 --> 01:43:09,203 only one woman has meant anything to me. 1924 01:43:09,270 --> 01:43:12,707 That woman is Rosemary Howard. 1925 01:43:12,774 --> 01:43:14,041 Because of my feeling for her, 1926 01:43:14,108 --> 01:43:16,177 I couldn't have possibly indulged 1927 01:43:16,243 --> 01:43:17,612 in the activities 1928 01:43:17,679 --> 01:43:19,481 of which I've been accused. 1929 01:43:19,547 --> 01:43:21,182 I returned from Washington 1930 01:43:21,248 --> 01:43:22,750 to marry miss Howard. 1931 01:43:22,817 --> 01:43:25,152 Unfortunately, she turned me down, 1932 01:43:25,219 --> 01:43:28,155 but I was truly and still am 1933 01:43:28,222 --> 01:43:29,657 deeply in love, 1934 01:43:29,724 --> 01:43:32,026 and I hope to persuade her 1935 01:43:32,093 --> 01:43:33,303 to change her mind and marry me. 1936 01:43:36,263 --> 01:43:39,200 No further questions. 1937 01:43:39,266 --> 01:43:42,203 Does counsel for the defense 1938 01:43:42,269 --> 01:43:45,372 wish to cross-examine the witness? 1939 01:43:45,439 --> 01:43:49,310 No questions, your honor. 1940 01:43:49,376 --> 01:43:53,147 You may step down, Mr. Niles. 1941 01:43:53,214 --> 01:43:55,983 Who is your next witness, Mr. Backett? 1942 01:43:56,050 --> 01:44:00,221 I'd like to call miss Rosemary Howard to the stand. 1943 01:44:08,696 --> 01:44:09,907 Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, 1944 01:44:09,931 --> 01:44:10,698 the whole truth, 1945 01:44:10,765 --> 01:44:12,333 and nothing but the truth? 1946 01:44:12,399 --> 01:44:16,003 You've ruined everything. Now you're just another guy. 1947 01:44:16,070 --> 01:44:18,339 And it's about time. 1948 01:44:18,405 --> 01:44:19,841 Now, miss Howard, 1949 01:44:19,907 --> 01:44:21,375 were you formerly associated 1950 01:44:21,442 --> 01:44:23,344 with Mr. Jynson in business? 1951 01:44:23,410 --> 01:44:24,779 I was. 1952 01:44:24,846 --> 01:44:27,982 Did you resign your position? 1953 01:44:28,049 --> 01:44:29,784 No. I was fired. 1954 01:44:29,851 --> 01:44:32,086 Will you tell the court why? 1955 01:44:32,153 --> 01:44:36,290 Because I refused to evict Mr. Niles from my house. 1956 01:44:36,357 --> 01:44:38,292 Who demanded that eviction? 1957 01:44:38,359 --> 01:44:40,094 There was a petition signed 1958 01:44:40,161 --> 01:44:43,297 by a number of husbands in the neighborhood. 1959 01:44:43,364 --> 01:44:46,701 That would be exhibit a, your honor. 1960 01:44:49,136 --> 01:44:52,006 Is this the document, miss Howard? 1961 01:44:52,073 --> 01:44:54,008 It appears to be. 1962 01:44:54,075 --> 01:44:55,509 Now, miss Howard, 1963 01:44:55,577 --> 01:44:57,511 that petition makes several allegations 1964 01:44:57,579 --> 01:45:00,815 as to the conduct and character of Mr. Niles. 1965 01:45:00,882 --> 01:45:03,618 Would you deny them now, under oath? 1966 01:45:03,685 --> 01:45:06,621 Well, miss Howard? 1967 01:45:08,389 --> 01:45:11,325 May I make a statement, your honor? 1968 01:45:11,392 --> 01:45:13,327 In the interest of clarification? 1969 01:45:13,394 --> 01:45:14,328 Oh, yes. 1970 01:45:14,395 --> 01:45:16,330 By all means. 1971 01:45:16,397 --> 01:45:17,832 These three divorce cases 1972 01:45:17,899 --> 01:45:20,835 are based on a complete misunderstanding 1973 01:45:20,902 --> 01:45:23,905 of Mr. Niles and his motives 1974 01:45:23,971 --> 01:45:26,440 and the motives of the wives. 1975 01:45:26,507 --> 01:45:27,942 You tell them, Rosemary! 1976 01:45:29,844 --> 01:45:31,345 Order in the court. 1977 01:45:31,412 --> 01:45:32,914 Continue, miss Howard. 1978 01:45:32,980 --> 01:45:37,585 I know this because I worked very closely with Mr. Niles 1979 01:45:37,652 --> 01:45:39,153 on his notes. 1980 01:45:39,220 --> 01:45:43,090 I heard all the conversation between the girls and Jack-- 1981 01:45:43,157 --> 01:45:44,592 I mean Mr. Niles-- 1982 01:45:44,659 --> 01:45:47,028 that night before Tom Jynson came bursting in. 1983 01:45:47,094 --> 01:45:50,932 A.J. Niles only wanted to help. 1984 01:45:50,998 --> 01:45:54,035 He understood their frustrations, 1985 01:45:54,101 --> 01:45:56,237 their doubts, 1986 01:45:56,303 --> 01:45:57,739 and their loneliness. 1987 01:45:57,805 --> 01:45:59,340 She's right, your honor! 1988 01:46:01,175 --> 01:46:02,810 Control yourselves! 1989 01:46:02,877 --> 01:46:05,179 This is not a pta meeting. 1990 01:46:06,247 --> 01:46:08,249 Go on, miss Howard. 1991 01:46:08,315 --> 01:46:10,251 A woman left alone, 1992 01:46:10,317 --> 01:46:12,253 even in paradise, 1993 01:46:12,319 --> 01:46:14,756 has to rebuild her pride. 1994 01:46:14,822 --> 01:46:18,159 I know Dolores and Tom are very much in love with each other, 1995 01:46:18,225 --> 01:46:21,162 and Mr. Niles was aware of it, too. 1996 01:46:21,228 --> 01:46:23,865 The others felt that their husbands 1997 01:46:23,931 --> 01:46:25,867 were losing interest in them. 1998 01:46:25,933 --> 01:46:29,136 But in all this time in paradise village, 1999 01:46:29,203 --> 01:46:33,841 a.J. Niles only wanted to help, and this is his reward. 2000 01:46:33,908 --> 01:46:37,211 Miss Howard, Mr. Niles is not on trial here. 2001 01:46:37,278 --> 01:46:39,180 I know that, your honor, 2002 01:46:39,246 --> 01:46:42,383 but he seems to be the central character. 2003 01:46:42,449 --> 01:46:44,185 These men are guilty 2004 01:46:44,251 --> 01:46:46,187 of failing to appreciate their wives. 2005 01:46:46,253 --> 01:46:48,723 What's worse, you didn't trust them. 2006 01:46:48,790 --> 01:46:52,593 The truth is, they're lucky to have women 2007 01:46:52,660 --> 01:46:56,397 who care enough to try and win their affection. 2008 01:46:56,463 --> 01:46:58,532 As to Mr. a.J. Niles, 2009 01:46:58,599 --> 01:47:01,202 I have only one thing to say. 2010 01:47:01,268 --> 01:47:04,772 A few minutes ago, he stated, under oath, 2011 01:47:04,839 --> 01:47:07,775 that his only objective was to marry me. 2012 01:47:07,842 --> 01:47:09,210 And I meant it! 2013 01:47:12,947 --> 01:47:16,417 Then I wish to state, under oath, 2014 01:47:16,483 --> 01:47:18,920 that I have changed my mind, 2015 01:47:18,986 --> 01:47:23,524 and I accept his proposal of marriage. 2016 01:47:23,590 --> 01:47:26,127 You're hooked. You're through. 2017 01:47:26,193 --> 01:47:28,062 No more experiments. 2018 01:47:29,496 --> 01:47:31,498 Order in this court! 2019 01:47:31,565 --> 01:47:33,434 Order! 2020 01:47:33,500 --> 01:47:38,072 Order in this courtroom! Please! 2021 01:48:04,131 --> 01:48:07,068 One of the most interesting aspects 2022 01:48:07,134 --> 01:48:11,272 of the institution of marriage is a rather complex rite, 2023 01:48:11,338 --> 01:48:14,842 colloquially referred to as the honeymoon. 2024 01:48:14,909 --> 01:48:17,411 Historians have traced this romantic ritual 2025 01:48:17,478 --> 01:48:20,848 back to the days of ancient-- 2026 01:48:20,915 --> 01:48:25,152 Ha ha ha! 2027 01:48:25,219 --> 01:48:29,123 Historians have traced this-- 2028 01:48:29,190 --> 01:48:30,424 mmm... 2029 01:48:30,491 --> 01:48:32,193 Oh, those historians. 2030 01:48:32,259 --> 01:48:34,495 Ha ha ha!